A Hunk A Hunk of Burning Lev

Lev Parnas is everywhere. He and his lawyer keep releasing pictures and video of Lev with everybody from Trump to Nixon to Elvis. On top of that, the House released new material including text messages that show extensive contact between Lev and Devin Nunes’ staffer. Devin Nunes is in a hunk a hunk of burning trouble.

Mike Pompeo finally broke his silence after 2 days to say that the State Department will be looking into the claim that Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch was stalked. He claims he’s never heard about such a claim until now and is sure that his investigation will prove it never happened.

Pompeo is going to be eating a lot of Leved overs after he tries to spin this.

“My conclusion from reading the latest Parnas texts is that the FBI should open a field office in the Trump Hotel lobby.” — Matthew Miller

Republicans are accusing the Democrats of playing Kerplunk with Lev Parnas, claiming that they’re treating this as a game, but the ball has always been in the court’s court. The court has been in control of when the documents get released, not the Dems. The Dems just got lucky. A hunk a hunk of lucky Lev.

Even more luck for the Dems — a new batch of Mueller investigation memos (169 pages) have been released of interviews with key witnesses like Stephen Miller. Sean Hannity is mentioned dozens of times. He advised Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen, and Trump’s aides. It is not known yet if Lev was there. Sean Hannity is in a hunk a hunk of burning trouble.

Alan “I Kept My Pants On” Dershowitz, Kenneth “Clinton Got a Blow Job and I Didn’t” Starr, and FU Trump U Pam Bondi have joined Trump’s rag tag legal defense team. All three of them have creepy sleazy backgrounds in Florida. Both Dershowitz and Starr represented pedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and Bondi was the AG for the case. All 3 of them got Epstein off (no pun intended.)

Alan Dershowitz is a good friend of Trump’s and a talking head for Fox News. He was a regular at Jeffrey Epstein’s sex parties. He wrote a book about being a victim of the “Me Too” movement after being accused of raping a girl who was given to him by Jeffrey Epstein. He will argue that “abuse of power” does not constitute an impeachable offense for Trump.

Kenneth Starr is a sexually repressed Republican who interviewed dozens of witnesses about Clinton’s clandestine blow job, including the White House window washer (what did you see, hmmmm?) He was the president of Baylor University in Texas but he blew that job a couple of years ago because he mishandled cases of football players accused of sexual assaults. He will argue that there should be no witnesses for Trump’s trial. Starr thought lying under oath about an affair was impeachable but extorting a foreign country to smear a political rival is not.

Pam Bondi is the former Florida attorney general. Trump gave her a job in the White House. He likes her. He cut her a check from his foundation for $25,000. Must have something to do with dropping the case against Trump University.

Lev Parnas is not an attorney. It is not known yet how he fits in with these stooges but there’s probably a photo somewhere.

The House managers are supposed to file their brief today but they don’t know what the trial rules are yet because Moscow Mitch won’t tell them. “Moderate” Ben Sasse says the hearings in the House were a clown show so no bias there. Martha McSally is pandering to the dumbest MAGA voters in Arizona so no bias there. Susan Collins is pandering to her critics by throwing out empty teasers, but don’t worry, she’ll probably do the right thing. Nobody has heard from flip flopping Mitt but don’t worry, he’ll probably do the right thing. Right? The Republican party — all dicks and no balls.

You don’t need competent lawyers when the jury is rigged. Trump could hire Lev Parnas to represent him all alone and the Republicans would still acquit.

Trump is pandering to the gun nuts in Virginia. After the governor of Virginia declared a state of emergency because 100,000 packing wanna be vigilantes are expected to storm the steps of the capitol on Monday for a pro-gun rally, Trump tweeted: Your 2nd Amendment is under very serious attack in the Great Commonwealth of Virginia. That’s what happens when you vote for Democrats, they will take your guns away. Republicans will win Virginia in 2020. Thank you Dems!

“There’s a real threat of violence Monday. The governor has announced a state of emergency. FBI has arrested three white supremacists with weapons they planned to take to Richmond. A real president would offer help to our state government and emphasize violence won’t be tolerated.” — Bill Kristol

Trump told donors at a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser that Soleimani was “saying bad things about our country” so he killed him. He recounted blow by blow details about the attack, sharing information that wasn’t officially reported. Check please!

Insert photo of Lev and Trump with big donors in Florida here.

For a copy of the Trump-Ukraine Impeachment Inquiry Report, click here.

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

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