AAAAAHHHHHHHH and Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Spike Dolomite
3 min readNov 7, 2020


It’s been 5 days and the race hasn’t been called yet. Biden supporters and people who understand how democracy is supposed to work are a nervous wreck because they still have PTSD from 2016 and this is 2020 and Trump is still president so anything can happen. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Trump is pissed that not enough people are defending him on television. That’s politics, Mr Reality TV President — use and be used. Hahahahahahahah!!!!!

Trump is a loser. Hahahahahahahahah!!!!

Trump is the first president to lose the popular vote twice. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Trump is supposed to make a concession speech. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

The mayor of Philadelphia told the press that Trump needed to put on his big boy pants and call Biden and congratulate him. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

“Trump won’t concede because that would require both class and love of country and he has a bucket of KFC where those things are supposed to be.” — Adam Parkhomenko

Armed QAnon weirdos drove to Philadelphia to avenge the poll workers and thankfully got busted and arrested. They had various weapons including an AR 15. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Trump’s chief of staff who never wears a mask, Mark Meadows, and 5 aides have tested positive for the coronavirus. Per Trump fashion, they tried keeping it a secret. On election night Meadows was at a White House super spreader event with Trump and hundreds of unmasked villains. Not too long ago, Mark Meadows got all huffy when the press asked him to put on a mask when he briefed them. He’ll be huffing soon in the hospital. Oh, and Matt Gaetz has it too. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH and hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Another new coronavirus record — 122,000 cases in one day.

93% of the 376 counties with the highest number of new coronavirus cases per capita voted in favor of Trump. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Steve Bannon went running his mouth and said he wanted to see Dr Fauci and FBI director Christopher Wray beheaded after Trump wins re-election. He got kicked off Twitter and YouTube and then his lawyer quit. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

3 out of 4 border states fired Build the Wall Trump and the fourth, Texas, came close. Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Don’t bother trying to convince MAGAs that the election wasn’t rigged. They still believe that the earth is flat and only 2,000 years old, that the coronavirus is a Democratic hoax, and that Mexico paid for Trump’s invisible wall. Hahahahahahahah!!!!!

Time for MAGAs to make the walk of shame to pull up their lawn signs, lower their “Trump” and “Don’t Tread on Me” flags to half mast and throw out their “Fuck their feelings t-shirts” because their feelings are hurt. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

The Trump presidency isn’t ending with a bang. It’s going out with a WI/MI/PA.

Trump is headed to Philadelphia to make a big important announcement. What could go wrong? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

“Trump’s prison guards are going to get so fucking tired of hearing about all the illegal ballots” — Jeff Tiedrich


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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.