Anybody in any state can sue somebody who gets an abortion in Texas. The abortionee has to pay the abortion bounty hunter $10,000 plus attorney fees. There aren’t any penalties if the bounty hunter is wrong. The law was designed so that nobody can sue the state of Texas or Greg Abbott. It’s all done through civil suits. The last time citizens were deputized by the government to work on its behalf for cash was before the Civil War when people hunted down slaves who escaped and returned them to their owners.

Florida’s former GOP Speaker of the House went on TV and called women a “host body,” much like livestock. Florida wants to be next to enact the fascist Texas anti-abortion law. How men in Florida and Texas are getting laid at all right now is the greatest mystery of our time.

Abortion fun fact: Men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancies and can impregnate hundreds of women but only the women are responsible for getting pregnant.

Abortion clinics in New Mexico and Oklahoma are experiencing a surge in patients from Texas.

Not to be outdone by Greg Abbott, Kristi Noem is doing all she can to get national attention for being the first woman governor to fuck her fellow women over in South Dakota by denying them their constitutional right to an abortion. She issued an executive order that restricts telemedicine abortions and abortion medications and has called for a review of the state’s abortion laws. Somebody needs to interview her friends from college to find out if Kristi had an abortion.

Here’s a work around idea to states’ striking down Roe v Wade: Set up federal abortion clinics in national parks in red states, paid for by private donors like prisons to provide abortions for free so the American Taliban can’t do anything about it. Use the National Guard to guard the clinics so that anybody who shows up to “protest” and gets violent can be charged with a federal crime.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Trump wanted his second wife to abort his 4th child.

Mexico just passed its own Roe v Wade. Texans will be crossing the border to flee their own oppressive government.

Greg Abbott says women don’t have to worry about getting pregnant by rapists because he’s going to catch them.

Marjorie Taylor Greene has been holding anti-vax rallies outside of hospitals that are overflowing with covid patients.

70% of the calls into the poison control center in Mississippi are from idiots who have ingested horse de-wormer.

The 12 ton statue of Robert E. Lee is being removed from the capitol of Virginia this morning. It’s been there for 130 years.

Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio is sitting in jail today and the QAnon Shaman was sentenced to 4 years.

Immigrant hating MAGAs can’t use the argument that we don’t have enough room to let immigrants in anymore since over a half a million people have died from the Trump Plague. There is room after all at the America In. Just avoid Texas.

The gun maker Remington that is being sued by Sandy Hook parents subpoenaed their slain children’s attendance, academic and disciplinary records to make the case that the first graders were asking for it. The Sandy Hook kids would be starting high school right now.

Americans have been hit with multiple crises all at once for over 5 years. Fear, anger, depression, anxiety and disbelief plague us all. People have been confronted with the possibility that democracy could be over. It’s too much. Some people aren’t dealing with it well at all. Most are exhausted. MAGAs have no idea what’s going on, they’re just pissed off all the time, ready for a fight. What we’re going through is not normal. What the country is going through is not typical. Since the media doesn’t want to be accused of being liberal, it is both-sidesing everything and treating the GOP as if it is a normal political party, normalizing lying and violence and lawlessness. There is only one way out. Vote all of the Republicans out. The GOP is not a legitimate political party. It is a fascist movement.


Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.




Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Inaugural fashion speaks louder than words

The Unexpected Budgeting for Condoms When Moving to Texas

Debate Night Cheat Sheet

Nick Sandmann: GOP’s Poster Child for Fake Victimhood

Collective Decisions, Collective Action, Collective Power: On the Importance of Party Discipline in…

Dick’s Sporting Goods Letter, a tale of politicizing everything

Day after day, Mississippi teaches me what democracy looks like.

Roger Samara — The FCC Repealed Net Neutrality

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Spike Dolomite

Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

More from Medium

The America Republicans Want

Ten reuses for Covid masks

Let’s Keep Fox News Out of the Classroom

Roit at the Golden Corral