American Idiots

President Biden announced that the US has stopped all imports of Russian oil, gas and energy. Republicans happily support this decision because oil prices will go up and they’ll use it against him in the midterms.

The price of gas is already really high. Those who don’t understand how gas prices work already blame Biden. Now they’re going to blame him for this too which means they’ll start bitching about not having to pay a literal price for what’s going on in Ukraine. They shouldn’t have to sacrifice for anybody not born in America which is ironic because they won’t sacrifice for anybody born in American either. They refused to be a little inconvenienced by having to wear a mask to slow the spread of a deadly virus and made such a big deal out of it they threatened to kill people over their right to spread disease. These Americans wouldn’t be able to find Ukraine on a map. They fit under these embarrassing American idiot categories:

96 million believe that the 2020 election was stolen

89 million believe that voter fraud is a problem

264 million can’t name their state legislators

109 million don’t know who their governor is

185 million don’t trust traditional media

American idiots all think they know more than scientists and doctors. They don’t seek out information, they wait for information to come to them.

Speaking of embarrassing American idiots, Enrique Tarrio, leader of the Proud Boys got arrested before sunrise in his underwear. He has been charged with conspiracy. Even though he wasn’t at the actual insurrection, he played a role by meeting with riot organizers to plan it in advance. Who’s next? Roger Stone? Could this be a stepping stone to Stone?

American idiots who are being arrested can’t believe that there are actual consequences for what they thought was just playing a part in a movie or a video game.

The idiot who posed in the Capitol carrying a podium, Adam Johnson, was sentenced to 75 days in jail. He couldn’t believe it. He was just having a good time. The judge was tough and told him he wasn’t just a goof that made a goof, he played a part in something much bigger that could have ended in what Ukraine is going through right now. Adam has 5 kids. They’ll have to live with their dad’s legacy — American idiot.

All of the American idiots who have gone along with the fascist ride are too stupid to understand that their privileges and “rights” won’t mean a damn thing after democracy is gone.

Tough guy Texan, Guy Reffitt, the first American idiot to face trial for attacking the Capitol, has lost. He was found guilty of all charges right away. The jury said it was easy because there was so much evidence against him. He’ll be sentenced on June 8. If he gets the book thrown at him, he could die in jail.

The four American idiots in Michigan who plotted to kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer are going to face trial.

All three of the Republicans running to be the next attorney general in Michigan are opposed to a law that protects the privacy of married couples’ use of birth control (1965 Supreme Court case Griswold v Connecticut.)

Michigan Republican candidate for state House, Robert Regan, told his daughters to lie back and try and enjoy it if they get raped. He’s an anti-Semite and a conspiracy theory wacko, the quintessential American idiot. Republicans in Michigan refuse to denounce him.

The Florida state Senate passed the Don’t Say Gay bill. The youth of Florida say, “GAY!” Republicans in Florida are anti-kid, straight or gay. Their crackpot surgeon general told parents not to vaccinate making Florida the first state to go against CDC guidelines by advising parents NOT to get their kids vaccinated for covid. Welcome to Florida. It’s not the heat — it’s the stupidity.

Up in Idaho, American idiots passed a bill in the House that would send doctors to jail for life if they treated trans kids with surgery and hormone therapy. It would make it a felony to take a kid out of state for treatment. Puberty blockers aren’t just for trans kids. Doctors have been prescribing them to cis kids for over 30 years to slow puberty if they’re growing too fast. Republicans have made this an issue to get votes. There are very few trans kids, especially in Idaho. Their population is only 1.8 million. Why do this? Once you attack children, who’s left?

Speaking of attacking children, 67 years after 14 year old Emmett Till was kidnapped, tortured, lynched and thrown in a river by racists in Mississippi, a bill making it illegal to do that has finally passed. Emmett and his family were visting relatives from Chicago when he was accused of whistling at a white woman and then lynched for it. The murderes got away with it which sparked the civil rights movement. There have been over 200 attempts to enact federal legislation that would outlaw racial terror but all attempts have failed. Now, at long last, the Senate has unanimously passed the Emmett Till Antilynching Act, introduced by Bobby Rush from Chicago in the House, a former Black Panther. Given that this is the most racist and inept Senate since 1955, how did this pass? Even Rand Paul voted yes and he was a big fat no the last time it was up for a vote in 2020. Why now? It can’t be that the Republicans have had a change of heart. That’s not possible. They did it because like supporting high gas prices now, it will help them in the midterms. They don’t want their blatant racism to make them look like idiots.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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