American Justice

Spike Dolomite
4 min readNov 15, 2021

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Smelly Steve Bannon was indicted for contempt of Congress on Friday and arrested this morning. He appears before the judge this afternoon to answer to 2 counts. Each count carries a minimum of 30 days and a maximum of 1 year in jail. The case has been assigned to an ultra conservative judge, Judge Nichols who clerked for Clarence Thomas. Is he the old fashioned rule of law conservative kind of judge from a different era or a new fashioned kind of fascist “conservative” judge?

Nobody at the DOJ leaked the really big news about Steve Bannon. Pundits, talking heads, and armchair strategists need to take a chill pill. Merrick Garland is on it.

Steve Bannon’s podcast went on this morning as usual, hosted by his co-host who didn’t mention that Bannon just turned himself in to the FBI.

Mark Meadows defied his subpoena to appear before the Select Committee on Friday too. He could be the next Trumplican to be indicted. The guy doesn’t have the money and resources that Bannon does nor does he not want to put himself out there as martyr for the cause so will he talk?

The dam is about to break and without Bill Barr’s finger in the dam, it’s gonna break.

None of the guys in the insurrectionist pipeline have the money, connections or an online following that Steve Bannon has. They could lose their livelihoods if they go to jail. More pressure on the dam.

The latest on the lower level insurrectionist idiots: Boyd Camper, the asshole who brought his 10 year old son with him to the Capitol just got sentenced to 2 months in jail. How will he explain that to his kid? Avenge me, son? 71 year old Lonnie Coffman from Alabama pleaded guilty to being in possession of 11 Molotov cocktails inside his parked truck at the Capitol on January 6. He also had unregistered guns, a machete, and a stun gun. The judge asked him if he had put gasoline, lighters, and rags in the jars before he got to DC and he said yes but he didn’t plan on using them. He could get up to 15 years but the prosecutors are only asking for 3–4 years. Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio has asked the court to release him to home confinement because the conditions inside the DC jail don’t meet his standards. He’s serving a five months sentence for burning a church’s Black Lives Matter banner. He’s expecting special treatment because he doesn’t think he belongs there. I can’t eat this food! Everybody is mean to me! I can smell poop! Proud boy isn’t so proud anymore, and he’s definitely not a man, he’s a boy. A mama’s boy. I wanna go home!

Proud Boy wanna be, 17 year old boy Kyle Rittenhouse, is being held up as a hero by Proud Boys because he acted out their fantasy of taking an AR-15 to a BLM protest and shooting people.

Kyle’s mom went on Fox and said her son would do it again.

Hey mom! Can me and my AR-15 have a ride to the BLM protest?

17 year old boys have the worst judgement of anybody. He didn’t know how to use his gun. He didn’t know how much ammunition was in it. He got freaked out and just started shooting. A 17 year old boy with fantasies of being a cop takes an AR-15 to a BLM protest. What could possibly go wrong?

Who radicalized Kyle Rittenhouse?

Kyle’s mom drove him across state lines to murder people and she isn’t being held liable. If she had driven her 17 year old daughter across the Texas state border to get an abortion everybody would be talking about her and somebody would have surely sued her.

The judge in the Rittenhouse case, Judge Bruce Schroeder, is an absolute fool. He’s presiding over a very serious murder trial and is treating it like Sunday night dinner at his house, rambling on and on about texting, technology, and not being able to figure out his phone. He asked everyone to applaud the one veteran in the courtroom on Veterans’ Day, right before someone took the stand to testify. A total lack of respect for the victims, their families, and the rule of law. Do better, Kenosha. This guy ran unopposed in the last 2 elections.

There are lots and lots of Judge Schroeders.

“Tom Selleck could close this guy on a Reverse Mortgage in 5 minutes” — some guy on Twitter

Even though Trump, Bill Barr, and the Republicans have made a mockery out of the American justice system by building an unjust dam, it will burst. The wheels of justice may be slow, but they’re turned in the right direction and the dam is bulging and pulsing, about to fail.

Relax, kick back, take a chill pill if you need it, and enjoy the next episode of American Justice.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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