And the Loser is….

Spike Dolomite
4 min readOct 23, 2019


Ambassador Bill Taylor testified for over 9 hours and didn’t mess around. He had been keeping notes. Investigators gasped out loud when he read his 15 page opening statement. He’s still employed with the US government so this guy has guts. He showed his face while the Republicans hid under their desks. They’re going to lose this one. Big time.

The author of the anonymous op-ed claiming to be the resistance inside the White House has written a tell all anonymous book. Whoopty doo. Anybody can do that. Show your face and maybe somebody might read your book.

The governor of Kentucky is so awful that the guy who lost to him in the primary endorsed the Democrat running against him. He is one of the most loathed governors in the country. Way to go Kentucky. You win for having the shittiest governor and the shittiest senator in the nation. Moscow Mitch has an approval rating of 18%. He’s up for re-election in November and watch him win because, you know, he’s Moscow Mitch and it’s Kentucky.

Trump said he talked to Mitch McConnell about his call with the president of Ukraine and that it was “the most innocent phone call.” McConnell says he didn’t talk to Trump about that. When a reporter asked if Trump was lying McConnell replied, “You’d have to ask him.”

Moscow Mitch is slinking backwards, away from Trump. Slinky dink whoopty do. That’s what turtles do.

Trump is really losing it which means little by little, he’s losing the Republicans. When you lose Moscow Mitch, you’re a goner.

Republicans keep talking about the whistle blower. We’re way past the whistle blower. We’ve got ambassadors, career government servants, showing up in plain sight with NOTES.

You lose!

Gym Jordan blamed Jim Comey for Trump calling impeachment a lynching. Gym Jordan is a pathetic loser. On the other hand, Susan Rice, Obama’s National Security Advisor, called Lindsey Graham a “piece of shit” in a podcast for saying that Trump is being lynched. She’s highly educated and knows a lot of words so this was exciting. Not as good as Nancy Pelosi saying “fuck” but it was enjoyable. Win!

Lindsey Graham is going to introduce a resolution condemning the House impeachment inquiry. What’s he going to call it? Lynch Mob Take Down? Get those Democrats!

MAGAs don’t like David Lynch movies. There’s too much to get.

Speaking of lynch, Merrill Lynch and other “wealth management” companies are starting to sweat through their Cashmere silk suits with the white gold stitching. While Trump keeps blowing things up over here, Elizabeth Warren is blowing things up over there. Republicans, Wall Street, and American oligarchs are scared to death of Elizabeth Warren for she is the only one who can take them on and win.

For the first time on record, the 400 richest Americans paid a lower total tax rate (federal, state AND local) than any other income group. We’re all feeling it. Somebody has to pay taxes to keep the lights on at the capitol and the cops and firefighters ready when you call, but it’s not the rich.

A new study came out that shows that policies that the rich don’t like became law 18% of the time, whereas policies that the rich do like end up becoming law 45% of the time. Huh. The rich really do own US. If Elizabeth Warren wins these fuckers will lose.

Millionaires own nearly half of the world’s global total wealth. The rest of us are working 3 jobs just to keep the lights on and the cops and firefighters employed.

Republicans think that by riding this out for as long as they can they can pop up at the last minute to vote yes on impeachment and then they’ll look like the good guys who saved the day. Republicans are never the good guys and when this is all over we’re going to be inundated with movies and TV shows about this era that won’t be flattering to the self described Good Fellas. Since Americans prefer to watch TV and movies rather than read, that’s when they’ll find out that the Republicans are the bad guys and have been all along. That’s a good thing but it’s pathetic. Maybe someone will make a movie about the duties and obligations of citizens in a democracy so people will learn not to take America for granted any more. There will have to be a lot of sex and violence in it though, or people won’t watch. Give it a zippy title like “Piece of Shit.” Don’t let David Lynch direct it though, or we’ll lose them.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.