Atlas Shrugged

Spike Dolomite
5 min readSep 17, 2020


The guy that Trump has got running the latest plan for beating the virus is Scott Atlas, a Fox News talking head who once had a career as a radiologist. He’s not an actual doctor that has any experience in treating infectious diseases. Nor does he have any background in public health. He’s just a guy talking to Trump on state TV. Herd immunity is his big idea and Trump likes it. Once he heard “Dr.” Atlas talk herd mentality bullshit on TV, Trump hired him to thin the herd. They immediately stopped telling states with high infection rates to cover and isolate so they would go ahead and let the infection spread, the idea being that the more that get infected, the better. Let everybody get it and then the disease will burn itself out. Only 6 million might die to achieve this goal, as many as Hitler killed in Jewish death camps, but “Oh well,” Atlas shrugged.

Coronavirus infections have increased in 17 states because of herd mentality. “Don’t let the government tell you what to do!” Atlas shouted.

Michael Caputo, the deep state nut in charge of herding sheep for Trump on behalf of the CDC is taking a 60 day leave of absence to spend more time with his family and the voices in his head.

Since the news coverage was so bad after Michael Caputo’s deep state Ayn Rand Qanon rant and Trump shitting himself on TV during the ABC town hall, he thought he’d better take control of the media narrative so he held yet another press briefing starring Donald J. Trump and a graph. He said everything is great. He had “Dr.” Atlas make a cameo. Nobody but CSPAN and Fox covered it. He bragged about the death toll, saying it wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for Democrats. The numbers are good if you subtracted the blue states. “The blue states had tremendous death rates. If you take the blue states out we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at. By the way we recommend they open up their states.”

Blue states don’t have a president. Trump is the president for hands in their pants MAGAs, confederates, Republicans in Congress and rich people who don’t want to pay any taxes. Everybody else is on their own. Atlas clapped.

Trump says that FOR SURE the vaccine will be available before election day. Anybody who knows anything at all about anything says nope, it won’t be ready for a year or more so wear a fucking mask, vote for Democrats, and check out an atlas. The earth is round.

After the head of the CDC, Dr. Robert Redfield, testified on TV and told everybody that we won’t be getting back to normal for perhaps another year, Trump publicly contradicted him. WRONG! Expect an amended statement from Dr. Redfield or news that he was fired today.

While Trump was bragging about the great death numbers, the General Assembly for the United Nations convened and the secretary general, António Guterres, told everyone in attendance that the coronavirus is out of control. He said it was the number one global security threat in our world today. THE WORLD IS ROUND. SCIENCE IS REAL. THE CORONAVIRUS IS DEADLY. He must not have gotten the herd mentality memo or herd “Dr.” Atlas shrug.

Press Secretary Barbie had a big mess to clean up after Trump’s town hall and Michael Caputo telling everybody to take up arms. She lost her cool because reporters kept asking her questions. She told them that if they want information they should just come and work for the White House. Shut up and let me get through my script! After she got done conveying the prepared spin, denials and lies she ran away as one reporter yelled out, “Kayleigh, if he’s the ‘law and order president,’ why does he keep breaking the law?” Run, Kayleigh! Run! Shrug, Atlas! Shrug! Every man for himself! Fuck the government!

A bunch of staffers inside the White House tested positive for the coronavirus right after Netanyahu and the rest of the guys were there signing the made for TV peace deal between countries who aren’t at war with each other. Now they’re back in Israel, sitting in quarantine. The White House has no comment. When asked about it, Press Secretary Barbie said she won’t give out personal medical information. Atlas nodded.

Meanwhile, Bill Barr is on Trump’s “rigged election” bandwagon to help Trump take more control. He said in a speech that states closing because of the coronavirus are the “greatest intrusion on civil liberties” except for slavery. It’s like house arrest. Right, Atlas? He’s trying to figure out if he can prosecute the mayor of Seattle because she defended protesters’ right to assemble and call out their government. He told federal prosecutors to be aggressive when charging violent demonstrators. Go after them for plotting to overthrow the government. Bill Barr is overthrowing the government. Atlas doesn’t get it. He’ll have to check Fox’s notes and get back to him.

“On one hand you have slavery. On the other you have to do Curbside Pickup at Applebee’s. They’re basically the same, according to Bill Barr.” — Aaron Rupar

ICE tried to deport a 30 year old woman who had been in America since she was 2 because she had an attorney and could testify against them for being sterilized by the government while she was being held at a privately operated, for profit detention center in Georgia. Congresswoman Pramile Jayapal, a member of the House Judiciary Committee, found out about it and had her pulled off the plane just in the nick of time. She has called for an investigation. Atlas checked his notes and pooped his pants.

“Who is John Galt?”

Run, Kayleigh! Run!

47 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.