Attention, Please!

Spike Dolomite
4 min readApr 16, 2021

America went to bed to the news of a mass shooting at a FedEx facility in Indianapolis that killed 9 people including the killer, after being subjected to ongoing news about 2 police shootings in Minneapolis and a new one in Chicago where a cop killed a 13 year old boy, and then woke up to the news that cops shot and killed somebody who was shooting at people outside the airport in San Antonio on the anniversary of the Virginia Tech shooting. ATTENTION, PLEASE! Make it stop!!!!!

Mass shootings happen so often now that they’re starting to occur on the anniversary of other mass shootings.

One of the cops who killed Breonna Taylor just got a book deal so he can get lots of attention and make lots of money. Once people found out about it, they raised hell so publisher Simon and Schuster said they wouldn’t release the book.

Kim Potter not only got to go home to await trial, she’s getting police protection. Her buddies built her a fence around her house so that BLM protestors won’t bother her. She doesn’t want their attention.

Tough guy Army Sergeant Jonathan Pentland, who harassed a teenaged boy for minding his own business and walking down the street in his own neighborhood, packed up and snuck out of town in the middle of night with a police escort because he was scared of the demonstrators that showed up at his house after he was arrested for assault. He was getting too much attention so he ran away as all bullies eventually do.

Here we go with another cop story out of Minnesota — a 61 year old white man assaulted an employee at a store with a piece of lumber after he was told to wear a mask. After the cops showed up he hit one in the head with his own hammer, crashed in to 2 police vehicles, trapped a cop’s arm in his car window and dragged him down the street at a high rate of speed, and did not get tased or shot. He got some media attention after he did not get tased or shot.

Gym Jordan went on a mega rant for the cameras that would have ended most careers, but not if you’re in Congress. He went off on Dr. Fauci in a covid committee hearing. Dr. Fauci just sat there, helpless, forced to have to sit there and take it until Auntie Maxine Waters told Gym to “shut your mouth!” Gym Jordan is inferior to Dr Fauci in every imaginable way — morally, intellectually, professionally, personally, socially. He’s a bully, an attention seeking whore who only knows how to do one thing — get attention.

Another attention seeking whore Republican, Ron Johnson, went on Fox News and said, “This administration wants complete open borders, and you have to ask yourself why. Is it really they want to remake the demographics of America, to ensure that they stay in power forever? Is that what’s happening here?”

Senators Ted Cruz and Rand Paul refuse to wear masks inside the Capitol despite CDC recommendations because they want the attention. They think it makes them look like non-conforming tough guys. They do shit like this because guys like Gym Jordan used to beat guys like Cruz and Paul up all the time when they were kids and now they’re getting their due. I’m a big shot senator without a mask. Look at me now! Look at me now!

Meanwhile over in the House, Marjorie Taylor Greene has challenged AOC to a duel over the Green New Deal because Marjorie Taylor Greene is really bored now because all she gets to do is vote and draw attention to herself.

Republicans can’t get attention for anything that they have accomplished or earned so they make fools of themselves. They didn’t get they attention they craved when they were younger so they’re going to force us to sit there and take it, like poor Dr. Fauci.

The Biden administration has imposed tough economic sanctions on Russia over cyber spying, hacking SolarWinds, and messing with the presidential election. Biden has told 10 Russian spies they have 30 days to get out. Konstantin Kilimnik is now a confirmed spy. Trump pardoned him. He’s the guy that took secret campaign polling data from his business partner and Trump’s campaign manager, Paul Manafort (who Trump also pardoned) and gave it to the Russians to help Trump win, proving that Trump colluded with Russia to win the election. Trump is not going to like this kind of attention because we may find out that he’s a two time loser and didn’t win the 2016 election either.

Sarah Fuckabee Sanders has broken a state record by raising $4.8 million for her governor’s race. Now who would give such an unqualified, lying traitor that kind of money? Since she worked on Trump’s campaign she may not want the attention for breaking a fundraising record. If she lied for Trump while he was president, she surely lied for him while he was cheating to be president.

Attention, Russia! President Biden has a warning for you: “If Russia continues to interfere with our democracy, I’m prepared to take further actions to respond. It is my responsibility as president of the United States to do so.”

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.