Back In The USSR Timeline Part 15- Whistleblower

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMar 17, 2022

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Before everybody found out about Trump’s phone call with the president of Ukraine where he tried to blackmail him by saying he’ll give him military aid (that was already promised to him) in exchange for him making up dirt on Joe Biden to help him win re-election, there was a phantom whistleblower who came forward in secret to say he had damaging information on Trump but he wanted protection because he feared for his life. Trump threatened him.

The whistleblower’s complaint was classified right before acting DNI Joe Maguire appeared in open session before the House Intelligence Committee. The complaint was declassified so he could answer questions. What he told the committee implicated and the White House. Democrats were shocked, Republicans pretended like it was nothing.

The whistleblower’s complaint mentioned Trump’s communications with foreign officials. They were saved on a SECRET SERVER. A bunch of people in the White House were in on the cover up, including Bill Barr. They were all in on a conspiracy to keep Trump in power for 4 months.

What else is on that secret server?

Trump told the president of Ukraine, “…..whatever you can do with the Attorney General would be great.”

Trump first spoke to the president of Ukraine on April 21, 2019, 10 days before Bill Barr refused to answer Kamala Harris’ question under oath about whether or not he had ever been asked him to open an investigation on anybody in the White House.

Bill Barr’s son in law was one of Trump’s legal advisors the whole time.

Rudy Giuliani was mentioned over 30 times in the whistleblower’s complaint. Rudy said he was asked to go to the Ukraine by the State Department. If so, Mike Pompeo was in on it too.

Joe Maguire is a retired 3 star Navy Seal admiral who never wanted or expected to be the head of DNI. He had only been on the job a little over a month. The whistleblower’s complaint was made a couple of days before he started. He saw the complaint as something that fell outside of the intelligence community’s whistleblower statute so he took it to the Justice Department and White House who were both who both mentioned in the report. They both said it was nothing and there was no need to tell Congress so he didn’t and broke the law. Republicans on the committee made a scene to deflect from the seriousness of the hearing. Devin Nunes accused the Democrats of trying to obtain naked pictures of Trump.

Trump had a fit and told staffers that whoever leaked would pay. He accused whistleblowers of being spies guilty of treason and should be killed.

Trump asked the newly elected president of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky to tell the world that he never did anything wrong. Tell everybody that everything in the released transcript of their phone call was wrong. He made him tell the press that Trump is innocent of putting any pressure on him. He did. He dutifully praised Trump on camera and shared how grateful he was to the United States for everything. Then Trump took over and went on a rant about Joe Biden and fake news. Our country is doing great, we have the largest economy in the world and it wouldn’t be if my opponent had won, we’ve picked up trillions and trillions of dollars of value and millions and millions of jobs. After that press conference he did another one. He repeated himself and bragged about his poll numbers and said the Democrats were on a witch hunt because they know they won’t win the 2020 election. He accused the press of being liars. He threw Mike Pence under the bus and said he talked to the president of Ukraine too. “You might want to look into those calls.”

Mike Pence met with President Zelensky a few weeks prior to that double press conference day. Trump sent him so he could keep holding military aid over the Zelensky’s head.

Ukraine wanted to stay out of it. They just wanted the aid that was promised to them.

Trump’s press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, screwed up and acccidentally sent House Democrats their talking points about how to reframe the whistleblower mess and then stupidly sent out another email asking for them back.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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