Bad Day

Spike Dolomite
5 min readDec 10, 2021
According to Fox News, their burnt tree was the only thing that happened yesterday

Trump had a bad day. An appeals court denied his request to keep the Select Committee from getting his White House records and the Attorney General of New York, Letitia James, has dropped out of the governor’s race to finish a few things. She is going to subpoena Trump and request that he appear for a civil fraud and tax evasion deposition. She wants to question him on January 7.

Trump’s former chief of staff, Mark Meadows, who is already on Trump’s shit list for publishing a book about him, had a bad day yesterday too. He had to turn over an email to the Select Committee that referred to a 35 page PowerPoint pdf titled, “Election fraud, Foreign Interference & Options for 6 JAN.” It was a step by step insurrection plan for dummies (the only thing Trump understands is PowerPoint.) To over turn the election results, Trump should declare martial law, have all paper votes in every state counted by hand, throw out all electronic votes because they’re invalid because they’re under China’s control, and delay certification by getting Mike Pence to not sign off on the final count. It was dated January 5 and mentioned a briefing that was to happen “on the hill.” After Mark Meadows received a copy he replied, “I love it.” That guy is as dumb as Trump’s thumb. He’s sucking Trump’s thumb a lot these days because he’s so dumb.

Kash Patel testified before the Select Committee yesterday and issued a statement that concluded with, “…..and I will continue to advocate for these things through Fight With Kash so that no American needs to suffer the attacks that I have.” Fight With Kash is a fundraising website to “Help us fund lawsuits for all Americans who have been defamed and deplatformed by the media and big tech.” Fight with cash.

Ali Alexander had a double bad day. He was served with a subpoena for a civil lawsuit as he walked out of his deposition.

Liz Cheney, co-chair of the Select Committee had a great day. She posted this update: The Committee has already met with nearly 300 witnesses; we hear from four more key figures in the investigation today. We are conducting multiple depositions and interviews every week. We have received exceptionally interesting and important documents from a number of witnesses, including Mark Meadows. He has turned over many texts from his private cell phone from January 6th. We have litigated and won Trump’s executive privilege case in Federal District Court. The Federal Appellate Court has expedited the appeal, and we anticipate a ruling regarding many more Trump White House documents soon. The investigation is firing on all cylinders. Do not be misled: President Trump is trying to hide what happened on January 6th and to delay and obstruct. We will not let that happen. The truth will come out.

Have a nice day!

It was a bad day for black actor Jussie Smollett and former Family Research Council executive director and board member, reality TV star, and world’s best Christian Josh Duggar. They were both found guilty in separate trials that will undoubtedly end their careers. Jussie was found guilty on 5 of 6 counts for faking a hate crime against himself 3 years ago. Josh was found guilty for receiving and possessing child pornography. One of the videos he had was of a 3 month old baby being sexually tortured.

Did Fox News mention the world’s greatest Christian and former leader of a Republican political action committee that is supposedly all about Christian family values going to jail for child porn? Yes, but they didn’t mention the Family Research Council. They described him as a former cast member of 19 Kids and Counting. They did mention Jussie Smollet though. A black guy who lied about a hate crime committed against himself? That’s newsworthy. All Fox News viewers know that whenever a black person reports a hate crime they’re lying.

Fox guest Vince Coglianese went on and claimed that other networks aren’t covering the Smollett verdict “because it’s bad news for them.”

Fox didn’t have much time to cover the bad day that Josh Duggar, Mark Meadows, Ali Alexander and Trump had because they were hyper focused on their top news story of the day — their Christmas tree. They mentioned it over 100 times. They put up a new Christmas tree and got a black guy to light it — one of their token people of color who they invite on from time to time to Uncle Tom for them. Rev. Jacques DeGraff pronounced, “I’m here because these colors do not run. 80 years ago this week, they tried to extinguish the darkness in a place called Pearl Harbor. We didn’t fold then, and we won’t fold now!”

Did Fox fake it? Did they burn down their own tree like Jussie Smollett faked his own attack just so they could “cover” it all day?

“They must not have anything to talk about on Fox this week, because they really went to town on this ‘we have been victimized’ jab and no one did more phony foaming at the mouth than the Little Dumber Boy.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Of course, it would never have happened if the tree had a gun.” Stephen Colbert

Fox News. The world’s champion of fake news. Fox had a bad day yesterday, too, but their audience would never know it. They think Fox News is real news.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

Recommended podcasts.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.