Bad For Business

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJul 6, 2020

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Made in America!

The Sunday morning show, “Face the Nation,” has been trying to get Dr. Fauci on as a guest for 3 months but Trump won’t let him do it. They can’t book anybody from the CDC either. Trump thinks it would be bad for business (the great American con business.)

Former FDA Commissioner Dr. Scott Gottlieb says we’re right back to where we started from with coronavirus spreading. More people than ever before are going to get sick and die and we’ll all have to shelter in place again. Opening up too soon has been bad for business.

A Kansas newspaper posted a cartoon comparing the face mask order to the Holocaust. The owner and publisher also happens to be the chair of the Anderson County Republican Party in rural Kansas. The cartoon went viral and the idiot asshole got a lot of flack for it. Bad for business! He apologized for being an idiot asshole, but first he called his critics “Liberal Marxist parasites” and said that the cartoon was fair commentary on a statewide mask order that was “authoritarian.” This pissed the governor of Illinois off because he helped build the Illinois Holocaust Museum which was created to fight the kind of hate that this idiot asshole is spreading. He called the cartoon “another disgusting display by ignorant Republicans who fail to understand that their propaganda is costing lives.”

A Super MAGA went into a Target store in Scottsdale, Arizona and got upset when she saw that Target was selling face masks so she destroyed their display. When the cops went to her house to arrest her, she told them she was a spokesperson for QAnon and the White House. She wanted the cops to “call Donald Trump and ask him” because she couldn’t share any classified information.

When idiot assholes tear stuff down the Republicans don’t call them un-American. They only do that if progressives tear stuff down, like confederate statues.

“I do think that President Trump is the most un-American, un-democratic president in American history.” — Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright

South Dakota’s governor said that the removal of confederate statues “discredited” the founding fathers. New rule! Nobody should be able to run for elected office unless they can pass a citizenship test like immigrants do.

Fox is slowly turning away from Trump because he’s turning out to be bad for business. Even though they cropped Trump out of the infamous photo of him and Melania with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, Trump still got pissed and tweeted this: FoxNews weekend afternoons is the worst! Getting into @CNN and MSDNC territory. Watch @OANN & @newsmax instead. Much better!

There is a new social media app that is on its way to be exclusively for Republicans. It’s called Parler. Liberals be damned and banned. Hey TikTok Teens! Time to infiltrate Parler! Parler is open for prankster business!

Speaking of social media boobs, a bunch of gun nut fantasy militia GI Joe wannabes got duped into showing up at Gettysburg to blow Antifas away because they heard that they would be there burning the flag. Nope. They got punk’d. Nobody was there except a bunch of idiot asshole GI Joe wannabes. Social media hoax gone right.

The Republicans are getting behind Trump’s “liberals are anarchists” language to keep their voters worked up. Moscow Mitch is saying that if the Democrats get control, they will “vandalize” the Senate. Nobody has vandalized the Senate more than Moscow Mitch. He and Trump are leading the country into a preventable depression but they don’t care as long as they and their buddies stay rich. Republicans are good for business. BIG business.

Republicans continue to have “no comment” when asked about Trump blowing up the country and killing people. Business as usual.

“Your reminder that America’s richest 1 percent now own half the value of the U.S. stock market. The richest 10 percent own 92 percent. So when Trump says the stock market is the economy, know who he’s really talking about.” — Robert Reich

The death rate from the coronavirus in the Navajo Nation is now higher than any single state.

The coronavirus finally killed Nick Cordero. ‪He was only 41 and had a new baby.

A doctor in Florida says the state is “heading a million miles an hour in the wrong direction” with the coronavirus. After all the partying Floridians did over the 4th of July weekend, hospitals won’t have room for people in 2 weeks when tens of thousands people turn up sick. Bad business as usual for idiot assholes who don’t care about anybody but themselves.

Americans shot off more illegal fireworks across the country this weekend than ever before not because they’re feeling patriotic, but because they’re bored out of their minds and just want to blow shit up. This has been horrible for veterans with PTSD and kids who have gone through school shootings.

Trump is on a roll this morning, tweeting outrageous racist BS. Trump is bad for the people’s business.

“Trump hasn’t tweeted in 15 hours which means he must have been left alone at the top of a ramp.” — Liddle’ Savage’

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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