Berder Bandit

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 15, 2019

Trump turned the White House into a junk food drive through by entertaining the Clemson Tigers football team with cold McDonalds, Wendy’s and Burger King hamberders (yes, hamberders) and french fries to celebrate their national championship. He boasted about how he personally paid for all of it since the government is shut down and then he said, “We have some very large people who like to eat.” Broke college kids were like ya whatever, a free meal is a free meal.

More than 42,000 immigration hearings have been canceled due to the Trump Shutdown. Trump won’t let immigrants in “legally.”

Trump threatened to withdraw from NATO, the only thing that has kept a check on Russian aggression and expansion for 70 years. He can do it, too.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: The Republicans have removed white supremacist Steve King from all of his committee assignments because after 6 years, his blatant racism is a problem for them.

Defender of the for profit health care system, Senator Rand Paul, needs hernia surgery and is going to get it in………wait for it………Canada.

If Trump’s shutdown lasts 2 more weeks it will end up costing the US economy as much as his stupid fucking wall.

Republican Congressman Peter King said the investigation into Trump is “almost a coup.”

Fox “legal analyst” Gregg Jarrett went on Sean Hannity’s “Watch on the Deep State” segment and called for the disbandment of the FBI investigating Trump.

Teachers in the Los Angeles Unified School District made history by striking in the pouring rain, about 20,000 teachers and allies in all. Parents are showing their support by keeping their kids home from school, costing the district millions per day in per pupil revenue. Attendance at schools throughout the district was 10–20%. A Facebook group for parents, “Parents Supporting Teachers” attracted 16,000 members in 48 hours. Parents joined teachers in the streets and opened their doors to strikers to use their bathrooms and enjoy a snack. The strike made national news. Teachers and parents aren’t taking it anymore. California is the 5th largest economy in the world but it ranks at the bottom 5th in per pupil spending for education in the nation. It’s even worse in Los Angeles. It doesn’t pay to teach. New teachers make $50K. You need to make $75K in LA if you want to pay your bills on time.

The superintendent of the Los Angeles Unified School district makes $350K a year, twice as much as a US senator.

The 2 day confirmation hearing for Bill Barr for attorney general begins this morning. Bill Barr advised George HW Bush to pardon everybody involved in the Iran Contra scandal, thus pre-pardoning himself.

Trump is trying to brand Bill Barr as Jim Comey’s “best friend” to make it look like he doesn’t want Barr to help him pardon himself.

Lindsey Graham is the new chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee so all the Democrats can do at this point is ask good questions and hope that the press picks them up and they end up all over social media. Questions such as “Why did you write an unsolicited, 19-page memo calling Mueller’s probe ‘fatally misconceived’ for examining whether Trump obstructed justice by firing FBI Director James Comey in 2017?”

Breathe deep, America. It’s not just about Russia tipping the election anymore. It’s about whether or not Trump is taking orders from Putin. The FBI has known that Trump has been working for Putin for 2 years. The whole story is too much to absorb. Mueller is letting information leak out slowly to give us time to digest the shock in small bits so we can better grasp the magnitude of the unbelievable danger we are in right now. He is setting the public up to understand that there has been an ongoing investigation into the President of the United States for 2 years. We need time to accept and understand that. Take it in and get ready for the next blow.

The president is a Russian agent.

The Republicans are covering for and enabling the president.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.