Best Thing Since Sliced White House Letterhead

The Trump campaign used select footage of Dr. Fauci for an ad without his consent. They edited it to make it sound like he thought Trump was the greatest thing since sliced stem cells. This pissed Dr. Fauci off. He said, “In my nearly five decades of public service, I have never publicly endorsed any political candidate.”

“This election is a tough call because one candidate was endorsed by both the Taliban and the KKK and the other was endorsed by a broad bipartisan coalition and the New England Journal of Medicine.” — Bess Kalb

A drunk MAGA in Idaho faces 5 felony charges of aggravated assault after he pulled a gun on a group of kids in a haunted house because they taunted him for wearing a “Trump for President/Fuck your feelings” t-shirt and slicing and dicing MAGA bullshit.

Patricia and Mark McCloskey, the paranoid racist St. Louis couple who ran outside and pointed guns at BLM protesters in June, have been indicted on weapons and tampering with evidence charges. Anti-masker and coronavirus infested Republican Missouri governor Mike Parson says that’s OK, he’ll just slice a guilty verdict in half and just pardon them. He just got outed for spending $260,000 of taxpayer money on flights to his hometown of Bolivar which is only a 2 hour drive and costs $20 in gas.

The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has sliced Trump’s use of emergency powers to allocate millions of dollars in funding for the construction of a southern border wall by finding it illegal. He must cease construction.

The hearing to seat a right wing extremist on the Supreme Court is underway even though the Senate Judiciary Chair, Lindsey Graham, put everyone’s health at risk by forcing this through. He is going to get Amy Coney Barrett confirmed come sliced quell or high water even though he said in 2016, “I want you to use my words against me. If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the last year of the first term, you can say, ‘Lindsey Graham said let’s let the next president, whoever it might be, make that nomination.’”

An impeached president, Russian asset and criminal is being propped up by the Republicans to pick the next Supreme Court justice to shape the country for the next 50 years.

“Trump and Republicans held a mask-less, crowded, superspreader event at the White House in order to jam through a Supreme Court justice who may strike down the Affordable Care Act in the middle of a pandemic. Doesn’t get more on brand than that.” — Jon Favreau

Originalists like Amy Coney Barrett and her mentor, Antonin Scalia interpret the constitution as it was it written in the 18th century which excludes women and POC. They don’t get a slice of the American pie.

“Amy Coney Barrett is Carrie at the Republican prom.” — Stephanie Miller

The Republicans know that they’re losing so packing the Supreme Court is their final slice to the great American experiment.

“If it weren’t for double standards Republicans would have no standards at all.” — Jason Hammett.

On inauguration day in 2017, Trump filed to run again for 2020. If he didn’t want to ever be president, why would he do that? Nobody had ever done that before. He did it because like his charitable foundation, his campaign fund could be just another pot of money for him to blow through. Who would give to such a fund? Anyone wanting to pay to play. The campaign has been burning through money non-stop for 4 years on lavish expenditures for staff such as trips, cars and fun, keeping family members on the payroll, creating vanity ads for Trump (he wanted to spend $3 million on a NASCAR car with his name on it.) This is all atypical of typical political campaigns but quite common for crime families. Now they’ve run out of cash and have had to slice TV ads.

Mitch McConnell says he has stayed clear of the White House for 2 months because of the Trump Plague. He is signaling to the GOP that it’s OK to get their lips off of Trump’s ass now. It’s every man for himself.

The Republican party has only won the popular vote once since 1988. They represent white men, the rich, and corporations, not the majority of Americans. They can’t win without the electoral college. Or cheating.

The Republican party has slit its own throat by kissing Trump’s ass.

22 days until we get to vote.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.