Best to Worst

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMay 17, 2020

--

One of the best presidents in history, Barack Obama, made a few graduation speeches from home while practicing social distancing. He was the keynote for LeBron James’ “Graduate Together” online ceremony. He said, “This pandemic has fully, finally torn back the curtain on the idea that so many of the folks in charge know what they’re doing. A lot of them aren’t even pretending to be in charge……Turns out that they don’t have all the answers. A lot of them aren’t even asking the right questions.” He called for today’s youth to honor “honesty, hard work, responsibility, fairness, generosity, respect for others,” and emphasized the importance of community — “No one does big things by themselves. Right now, when people are scared, it’s easy to be cynical and say let me just look out for myself, or my family, or people who look or think or pray like me. But if we’re going to get through these difficult times; if we’re going to create a world where everybody has the opportunity to find a job, and afford college; if we’re going to save the environment and defeat future pandemics, then we’re going to have to do it together. So be alive to one another’s struggles. Stand up for one another’s rights. Leave behind all the old ways of thinking that divide us — sexism, racial prejudice, status, greed — and set the world on a different path.” He empowered them to take this moment and make the world better — “If the world’s going to get better, it’s going to be up to you. With everything suddenly feeling like it’s up for grabs, this is your time to seize the initiative. Nobody can tell you anymore that you should be waiting your turn. Nobody can tell you anymore ‘this is how it’s always been done.’ More than ever, this is your moment — your generation’s world to shape.”

Malala Yousafzai congratulated the class of 2020 too and asked the graduates not to forget those who are being left behind. “To all the graduates of 2020 — like all of you, I’m also missing my graduation ceremony this year (she is graduating from Oxford University) and we are not alone, across the world, COVID-19 has forced one billion students out of school but for most of us, this is temporary and we will continue our education and follow our dreams” She reminded American students that millions of their global contemporaries— particularly young women — won’t have the same opportunities. Many girls, especially in developing countries, will never return to the classroom. “Because of this crisis, they will be forced into early marriages or low paying jobs to support their families, and when schools re-open, their desks will be empty……They are our peers. They have the same right to education as we do. So I ask you to remember them today as you out and change the world, don’t leave them behind. The class of 2020 won’t be defined by what we lost to this virus, but how we responded to it……The world is yours now, and I can’t wait to see what you make of it.”

Barack Obama’s daughters, descendants of slaves, are both in college, but have returned home due to the virus to continue their education online, just like everybody else. The Obama kids are the best.

Bleeding Gums Eric attended Georgetown University. He’s an idiot. There’s no way that was possible without Trump buying his way in. He went on Judge Jeanine’s show and said that Joe Biden is incapable of going on stage without making a horrible blunder. Jeanine kept a straight face because she’s paid a shit ton of money to keep a straight face. Then he said that the Democrats manufactured coronavirus shut downs to keep Trump from holding rallies and that it’s all a hoax and will be gone after election day. The Trump kids are the worst.

A couple of days ago Trump invited some Girl Scouts to the White House for a photo op. They were there to share what they were doing to combat the coronavirus. Neither Trump nor the Third Lady wore masks during the visit/photo op even though Melanie posed with a mask a month ago and urged everybody to embrace the new fashion. She’s the worst first lady in history. Be Best? Come on. Einstein Visa? Come on. Girl Scouts have seen her naked.

The current occupant of the White House has nothing inspirational to say to the class of 2020 because he doesn’t give a shit. While Barack Obama spent all day Saturday giving inspirational speeches to the next generation, Trump was tweeting. He tweeted a pirated video of Independence Day with his head super imposed on Bill Pullman’s head. A fake president sticking his head on a fake president to make himself feel like he wasn’t the worst president in history.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Trump-Ukraine Impeachment Inquiry Report, click here.

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

Responses (1)