Bet Your Bottom Dollar

The House voted to replace the 600 dollar relief check with a 2,000 dollar relief check, just like Trump said he wanted on TV. None of the Republicans from Georgia voted for it. Now it’s off to the Senate. Will Mitch McConnell blow it off like he always does and piss voters off in Georgia or let the Senate vote no on it and piss the voters off in Georgia? Republicans hate parting with dollars. They hate it as much as they hate parting with power.

Nikki Haley, who wants to be president SO BAD, has taken a break from wiping Trump’s ass to wiping Kelly Loeffler’s ass. She’s stumping for her, telling people “She knows the value of a dollar.” Kelly Loeffler doesn’t know the value of A dollar, she only knows the value of 800 million dollars. That’s how much she and her Wall Street husband are worth. They use dollar bills to wipe their asses instead of toilet paper because that’s so bourgeois. Nikki, you missed a spot. Keep the change.

Kelly Loeffler went on Fox this morning and said she was in favor of increasing the relief checks to 2,000 dollars (that’s only 2,000 wipes.) Checkmate! Nancy Pelosi is queen! Will voters be sticking dollar bills in Kelly’s g-string or blowing off the election next week out of protest because they only got 600 dollars?

Nancy Pelosi is so done with Trump and his tantrums and his dollar a dozen empty threats. She said, “I plan to pull him out of there by his hair, his little hands and his feet.”

Republicans like Nikki Haley are scraping the bottom of the Republican talking points barrel and feebly trying to scare people with socialism but the socialist talking point has seen its silver dollar day. A whole generation who have been fucked over by Republicans selling capitalism as good for everyone isn’t buying it (pun intended.) They aren’t scared of socialism. Republicans are.

Mike Pence told a bunch of Republicans in his speech at Turning Point USA that Democrats “want to make rich people poor and poor people more comfortable.”

Poor people say $2,000 doesn’t fix the problems forced upon them by Trump, Republicans and capitalism, but it will help for a little while. They’ll take it. Poor people really do know the value of a dollar. Many of them are forced to buy their food at the dollar store.

If poor people had a dollar for every person who was killed by guns since 2000 they wouldn’t be poor anymore.

The House overrode Trump’s veto of the military spending bill — 322 to 87. Trump vetoed it because he didn’t want military bases that were named after confederates removed and renamed after people who weren’t racist and believed it was OK to own people.

Republicans, under the leadership of lunatic Louie Gohmert, have decided to sue Mike Pence. They want him to over turn the election and give it to Trump, putting authoritarianism right out in the open, naked as a newborn demon, laying in a bed of freshly minted crisp dollar bills.

1 in 17 people have the virus and 1 in 1000 have died. People have given up. They don’t care.

MAGAs never fault Trump for lying or delivering on promises. They just stop caring about whatever he doesn’t care about. No dollars in your bank account? It’s OK! Trump! Trump! Trump!

The number of people in hospitals with the coronavirus is the most it’s ever been. Hospitals are running out of oxygen and nurses.

Trump is getting fatter. The only thing he hasn’t lost since November 3rd is weight. McDonalds is going broke from Trump ordering off their dollar menu several times a day.

Dollars and sense — Trump has neither.

22 days until the dollar bill changer.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.