Big Mouth Loser

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 26, 2024

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The jury in the E. Jean Carroll case has made its verdict. Compensation for emotional damage is $7.3 million. Compensation for damage to her reputation $11 million. $65 million for punitive damages. Total $83.3 million. The message is shut your big fat mouth, loser.

Trump made a fool of himself for 3 minutes at the end of the trial yesterday and today he arrived late then stormed out of the courtroom during closing arguments. Trump walked out on a female lawyer speaking to a jury about her female client who had been raped. The judge yelled at him, and E. Jean Carroll’s attorney asked the jury to hit him hard. Trump says he didn’t defame her a second time. If anything, he made her more famous. He enhanced her image! Alina Habba said in her closing argument that E. Jean Carroll craves the fame she has gotten from being raped. She has more Twitter followers than she did before!

E. Jean Carroll sued him for extra damages for the crap he’s been saying about her. Not only has she had to relive the attack in public a second time, she had to do it with Trump in the same room. After Trump made her famous, she has been getting regular death threats from his cult followers and never gets a break from this case. Every day is scary. The jury is anonymous to protect them from MAGAs.

Update on other Trump trials: Things are stalled in DC because Trump’s claim of being immune to prosecution of the 91 crimes he has been indicted for has to make its way through the courts. In Fulton County one of the defendants is trying to make a case out of DA Fani Willis and someone on her staff enjoying each other’s company with the lights off and now he wants to take her down. A decision on how much Trump has to pay and how much the Trump Organization will lose in New York should be announced within a week or two. The MAGA judge in Florida is kicking back and watching stuff unfold with the other trials so she can figure out how best to help him in the espionage case. The Stormy Daniels pay-off case should be good to go in a couple of months.

There are people who don’t know about Trump’s legal troubles because they aren’t paying attention to real news. They have no idea how much trouble he is in.

Breaking news: Real news is broken. The Los Angeles Times just laid off 23% of its newsroom and other legitimate news outlets are doing the same. 115 journalists got laid off. The Los Angeles Times has laid off about one third of its newsroom in less than a year. Ominous warning for the fourth estate. Without real journalists, we’re doomed.

Imagine a world without Fox News.

What’s the difference between Putin’s Russians and Trump’s Americans? Not much. They both listen to state media, they both believe everything they’re told, and they both hate “the enemy.”

Colorado Republican state rep Mike Lynch has stepped down from his role as state house minority leader after people found out he had been hiding a DUI and gun charge from 2022. Google him to watch his roadside sobriety test. He had a blood alcohol level of .16 — twice the legal limit and was driving at 90 MPH, with a gun, and he only got 18 months probation. He didn’t resign from the legislature and he’s running for Congress against Lauren Boebert, another Republican drunken gun nut. Mike lynch asked her at a campaign event where voters could meet the candidates and ask them questions in a panel setting if she knew what a carpet bagger was. She didn’t. She just went into her canned rant about she and her boys needing a fresh start. A carpet bagger is a political candidate who seeks election in an area where they have no local connections. After the Civil War a carpet bagger was anyone from the north moving to the south to cash in on Reconstruction. One could make lots of money to rebuild the South.

The chairman of the Arizona GOP resigned after an audiotape was released of him bribing Kari Lake to not run for the senate. The Arizona GOP is in chaos. It’s supposed to be hosting Freedom Fest today at a church where Trump was going to be the keynote speaker but he cancelled so the Arizona GOP cancelled Freedom Fest. Insurrectionists and Arizona members of congress Andy Biggs and Paul Gosar were supposed to speak after Trump. No MAGA rally for Arizona today. Trump doesn’t want to risk opening his big fat mouth where he could end up getting sued by E. Jean Carroll a third time.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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