Big Mouth Republicans

Spike Dolomite
4 min readMar 9, 2023
The son on the far left is going to be a dad

Big mouth Christian Lauren Boebert will be a grandmother at the age of 36. Her 17 year old son got his 15 year old girlfriend pregnant. She thinks sex ed is obscene and should be legislated out of existence just like LGBTQ rights. Getting knocked up as teenagers runs in the family. She was 17 when she had him. Shotgun wedding has double entendre in this gun nut family. Her mother got pregnant when she was 17 and raised Lauren alone. There is no father listed on her birth certificate. Big mouth Boebert blames her mother having to go on welfare on the libs.

The first female plaintiffs have brought suit against the state of Texas about abortion. 5 women had high risk or life or death pregnancies that left them feeling the need to get the law that outlaws abortion clarified so doctors aren’t afraid to do their jobs if a patient almost dies. In rare cases, doctors have three or more patients to be concerned about — the mother and two or more fetuses where one is dead. Two of the plaintiffs were carrying twins where one of the fetuses wasn’t viable and needed to be removed in order for the other twin to survive. Both women had to go out of state to save their one healthy baby. Another plaintiff was carrying a severely deformed fetus that was either going to die in utero or right after labor. The doctor refused to do anything until she actually went into septic shock and started to die before he would perform the abortion because he was afraid of going to jail. She lost a fallopian tube as a result of her doctor not taking action sooner, which has impaired her future fertility. One plaintiff’s water broke at 20 weeks leaving no chance of survival. All but one of these women had to travel out of state to get medical care because Texas made a law that made it a crime for doctors to perform the same procedures.

In Kentucky, 3 Jewish women filed a lawsuit arguing that abortion laws violated their religious rights. They don’t believe in Republican Jesus. Jewish law doesn’t define fertilized eggs as actual human life. Kentuckians are finding out that religious freedom doesn’t just apply to big mouth Republicans.

California will not renew a $54 million contract with Walgreens because the company has refused to dispense an abortion drug in states where big mouth Republicans have threatened legal action against them.

Republican Senator Tim Scott thinks that Democrats want abortions to be performed up to 52 weeks of pregnancy. Um, the typical gestational period of a donkey is 52 weeks. Humans take 40. He thinks women can be pregnant for a year, like a donkey. The earliest a human fetus can live outside the womb is 23 weeks and that’s with a whole lot of very expensive medical interventions. Perhaps Tim should keep his big mouth shut about all things pregnancy and abortion, or for all things women for that matter.

Kevin McCarthy let big mouth donkey Marjorie Taylor Greene sit in the driver’s seat to serve as Speaker Pro Tempore for the day, making a mockery out of Congress.

Kevin McCarthy refused an invitation from President Zelensksy to visit Kyiv because big mouths Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and all the other MAGA Republicans don’t want him to.

The Boogaloo Bois are planning a comeback and they want a war. They tried turning BLM protests into race wars by setting stuff on fire and shooting cops. A bunch of them went to jail. That’s why they weren’t at the Capitol on January 6. Now they’re back. 100 heavily armed spoiled white men wearing Hawaiian shirts are training in Virginia right now led by a 22 year old big mouth brat, Mike Dunn. They have all the advantages and they think they’re oppressed.

Tough guy, big mouth, anti-union multimillionaire and newbie senator from Oklahoma, Markwayne Mullin, tried to make a name for himself by getting in Sean O’Brien’s face from up high on his throne as a big shot senator during a Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee hearing about unions, salaries and union members’ dues. Sean O’Brien is the president of the Teamsters Union. He got right back in Mullin’s face and called him a greedy CEO. Mullin is a “businessman” (code for greedy CEO). O’Brien is a fourth generation Teamster. He joined when he was 18. Mullin says he’s not against unions. Some of his best friends are union members. When he tried to call O’Brien out for his $193,000 salary (senators make $174,000), O’Brien quipped back by asking him how much he made as a CEO. Mullin said he only took $50,000 so he could continue to invest in his plumbing company. O’Brien hit him back with, “Oh, so you hide it then.” Mullin told him to shut his mouth, making a name for himself as another big mouth bully Republican.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.