Blacks for Trump

Trump and Pence went to Atlanta to launch their “Black Voices for Trump” campaign.

“I have decided to join Black Voices for Trump. Clearly my voice is needed.” –Jeremy Newberger, a white guy

Trump timed the launch with a Twitter tease so he could find a new Kanye West because the old Kanye West is pretty busy speaking for God. Trump said he was going to reward the winner of the #MAGAChallenge with a visit to the White House to perform the winning MAGA rap song for him. At first, all of the entries were over the top red neck ridiculous white weirdos trying to rap. Then all at once all of the entries were done by black people who can actually rap. What happened there and how did it happen? He will no doubt pick a black contestant, invite them to the White House, put them on TV rapping for the prez, and get the whole thing paid for with tax dollars using the White House and the US treasury to his own political advantage. He’ll invite his new Kanye West to campaign with him.

Whatever he is up to, he’s desperate for the black vote. Never forget that in 1989 Trump took out a full page ad calling for the death penalty of 5 black teenagers falsely accused of raping a white female jogger in Central Park. He never took it back after they were all proven innocent and released from prison. Trump hates black people.

The lawyer for the whistleblower warned Trump that he better cut it out. Stop calling for his client’s identity. For the first time in history the president of the United States is getting cease and desist letters. Trump’s rap sheet will be long. Kids in the future will have to memorize his crimes when they study the time the Russians infiltrated the US government, Trump was installed to blow up our institutions, and the Republican party imploded.

Republican Congressman Mark Meadows told Democratic Congressman Eric Swalwell to shut up in a hearing when he tried to stop him from outing the whistleblower.

Fiona Hill’s testimony has been released. In it she said that what she knew about Ukraine was her worst nightmare. She’s getting death threats.

Steve Bannon testified in Roger Stone’s trial and admitted that Roger Stone was the Trump campaign’s connection to WikiLeaks.

At Trump’s daily yellicopter chopper chat on the White House lawn before he left to pander to “the blacks” he yelled at reporters to be quiet and said he hardly knew Gordon Sondland, then continued on with his daily rant, “We’re doing very well with the African Americans, my polls are the highest they’ve ever been, I’m leading in all of the states, the whistleblower is a disgrace to our country and should be revealed and his lawyer should be sued for treason, I never asked Bill Barr to do a press conference but if I did I think he would do it, my charity was great, I gave a lot of money away, I gave 1.9 million away but instead of saying thank you they hit me with a lawsuit and it was started by a man who had to get out because he beat up women.”

Trump says he’s thinking about attending Russia’s May Day Parade, a celebration of Russia’s military power.

Trump is attending another sporting event today. A college football game between the University of Alabama and Louisiana State University. Should be a lot of black people there.

Don’t Have A Cow Devin Nunes is going through with his lawsuit against the person who makes fun of him on Twitter, Devin Nunes’ Cow (@devincow). He’s suing Twitter for $250 million. Devin Nunes’ Cow has a legal defense fund. If there is any money left after Nunes’ last moo, it will all go towards Devin Nunes’ opponent’s campaign.

The best that the Republicans have got right now are Gym Jordan, Mark Meadows, John Kennedy, Matt Gaetz and Lindsey Graham — a dumb jock who has no problem with pervs who like to shower with teenagers, a cut rate crappy carry on character actor, a dumb hick with a great man’s name, a drunk, and creeping Jesus. That’s the best they’ve got. Real shits.

“Modern day Republicanism has devolved into a race to see who can be the shittiest person” — Jeff Tiedrich

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.