BLOB

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 4, 2018

Base Line Out of Bonds play: Trump picked a Twitter fight with two extremely successful black men– LeBron James and Don Lemon. The idiot took a shot at LeBron James who just opened a new public school in Ohio, giving at-risk kids uniforms, bicycles and helmets, free breakfast, lunch and snack, a food pantry for their families, GED and job placement for their parents, and guaranteed tuition to the University of Akron if they graduate. After Trump and the Republicans go to jail, LeBron should get Betsy DeVos’ job. Betsy DeVos. Her family donated $200 million to Trump’s campaign.

Do they watch Fox News in prison?

Trump is doing a MAGA rally today in Columbus, Ohio. That’s where LeBron James is from……..

Trump probably thinks LeBron is a failed businessman because he didn’t name his school The LeBron Academy and charge the kids $39K to “learn from the experts.” Meanwhile, a judge finalized a $25 million settlement for defrauded students who gave money to Trump for a fake university degree to “learn from the experts.”

The NRA says it is going broke. That can’t be right. This must be a fundraising ploy or the build up to bankruptcy where they can dissolve, stiff people, and reform under a different name, RAN (Ready Aim Nullify.)

When asked, only 26% of registered voters admit to being Republicans.

Trump’s die hard defenders fit into three categories: Political ass kissers who use and spin, “Don’t take him literally, all that matters is what he does,” guilty scumbags who hope they won’t get outed if they just hang low, and deranged MAGA nuts who want blood.

Some defense attorney just said, “If Paul Manafort is convicted, you’ll hear sphincters loosening all over the White House.”

Sean Spicer says Trump’s affairs are “between him, his wife, and his God.” Republicans say Democrats’ affairs are between Republicans and the Republican Jesus.

The wife of an Iraqi war veteran was deported. She has been here since she was a teenager. Her husband voted for Trump.

There is a March on the NRA today in Denver. Gun nuts have threatened violence so some speakers have bowed out. They’re going to show up holding the very gun used to kill 13 people who were watching a movie in a neighboring city, Aurora, 6 years ago to make the point that their right to own that killing machine trumps everyone else’s right to go to the movies and not get shot. The grieving families of the 13 victims will be at this march. Gun nuts say IN YOUR FACE SNOWFLAKES!

Everybody needs to stop referring to Sarah Huckabee Sanders as Trump’s press secretary. She’s his propaganda minister.

After the premiere of conspiracy theorist Dinesh D’Souza’s “Death of a Nation,” Donald Trump, Jr. said, “Wow! I didn’t know the Democrats were just like the Nazis!” D’Souza plead guilty to campaign finance fraud in 2014. Trump pardoned him.

Dinesh D’Souza benefited from the Immigration and Naturalization Act of 1965 which eliminated quotas on immigrants coming from the Indian subcontinent. He’s a Fox News immigrant. Who will protect him from deportation if the US Citizenship and Immigration Services find any mistakes on his naturalization application? Trump has instructed the USCIS to “review” old applications for “fraud” so they can deport more brown people. D’Souza is brown on the inside and Nazi white on the inside.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Justice Elena Kagan was confirmed after the Congress reviewed 99% of her documents. Justice Sonia Sotomayor had 100% of her documents reviewed. Republicans want to ram Brett Kavanaugh through without letting Democrats see millions of his documents.

572 migrant children have been orphaned by the United States government. It says if the ACLU cares so much about those kids let them find their deported parents themselves.

While we’re under cyber attack by a foreign hostile power dead set on determining who wins in the next election, the Republicans have voted against investing in election security and the Office of Cyber Security is EMPTY.

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ACTION ITEM FOR TODAY: Contact all the news media outlets and tell them to stop covering Trump’s MAGA rallies. Trump’s rallies aren’t news. Tell them you will call their sponsors and stop watching their station if they don’t stop.

Send ACLU money so they can find those parents.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.