Buy the Book or By the Book?

Jim Comey is getting booked everywhere to talk about his new book, “A Higher Loyalty.”

Jim Comey says Trump can’t get over him, “I’m like a bad breakup to him.”

Jim Comey says the Republican Party no longer represents his values and that he can’t be associated with it.

Meghan McCain doesn’t like that Jim Comey wrote a book. She said J. Edgar Hoover didn’t write a tell-all when he left. Ummmm………

A pregnant mother was shot by her 3-year-old daughter in Indiana after she found a loaded gun stored between the console and front passenger seat. Throw the book at the idiot who put that gun there.

A lesbian couple in Michigan brought their 6 day old infant into the pediatrician’s office for her first check up and was told that the doctor “prayed on it” and couldn’t see their baby. Throw the book at the bigot who used religion to discriminate.

3 white men in Kansas were convicted for plotting to bomb Somali refugees the day after Trump “won” the election. Throw the book at them!

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo is signing an executive order to restore voting rights to more than 44,000 people on parole.

Quite a few White House staffers say Sean Hannity is Trump’s “shadow” chief of staff.

Over half of Republicans believe that the FBI is out to get Trump, thanks to Trump TV (Fox News) and illiteracy. Fox viewers don’t read books.

While Mitch McConnell readies the ruthless Republican party for the firing of Mueller and/or Rosentstein, the New York Attorney General Schneiderman is figuring out how to block Trump if he tries to pardon any aides who will turn on him if they get the book thrown at them.

The IRS is understaffed and its infrastructure is outdated so it had to give us an extension on filing our taxes. The website said it was undergoing a “planned outage” beginning on Tax Day that would last until Dec. 31, 9999. WHAT?

The IRS system is insecure. It has collapsed. The IRS has all of our personal data.

“At this rate I’d rather file my taxes on Facebook” — Randi Rhodes

Puerto Rico is without power again and Trump is golfing at his private beach resort. His schedule is booked with golfing, golfing, and more golfing.

Trump did a press conference with the Japanese prime minister in the grand ballroom of his private club. “We had a very severe fight in Syria recently…between our troops and Russian troops. It was very sad. Many people died in that fight.”

Trump posted a commercial for Mar-a-Lago on Twitter last night. That’s a violation of the emolument clause in the Constitution but so what, he wrote the book on So What.

Earlier in the day he posted a picture of himself and the Japanese prime minister on the golf course, wearing their country club attire, doing the thumb’s up, because looking presidential is by the book.

Idiot Trump tweeted the police sketch of the guy who threatened Stormy Daniels to his 50 million followers.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Bob Corker says he has a warm relationship with Trump and that he is the most accessible president ever. He signs their legislation! When asked whether he’d endorse Trump for re-election in 2020, he said it was too soon for that and then stepped back to assume his assigned position as a book end.

Creepy weird fun fact: As recently as 2009, female senators couldn’t use the pool in the congressional gym because there were male senators who liked to swim naked.

Senator Tammy Duckworth is the first senator to give birth while in office. Having a brand new infant will make it difficult for her to cast votes so the Senate voted to let babies on the Senate floor, but only if they’re under a year old. The old white fart Republicans haven’t said it out loud, but they better not see a boob.

The Rapture is coming up again on April 23. Perhaps the American Christian Taliban could take the day off to do sensitivity training like Starbucks since they’re not going anywhere. Throw the good book at their heads in lieu of giving them a certificate for participation.

Karen McDougal has been freed by The National Enquirer so she can write a book about having sex with Donald Trump (“she loved him”) as long as they get in on some of the action. She’s got to pay them.

There are going to be so many books written about the time America got hacked by a narcissistic spoiled brat man child sociopathic grifter who will do anything for money and Russia, that they could easily fill an entire library — the Trump Presidential Library.



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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.