The beginning and the end of the Trump Reign

The race has been called. Joe Biden will be the 46th president! WOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!! Pennsylvania announced right before Trump was supposed to make some made for TV “big announcement” at the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia. Turns out the big announcement wasn’t an announcement at all but just the same old bullshit by Rudy Giuliani and not at the Four Seasons Hotel, but in front of the Four Seasons Total Landscaping Company next to an adult book store called Fantasy Island, across from a crematorium. A handful of people showed up. Somebody gave Trump the bad news that he lost while he was golfing. He refuses to concede.

“If you think about it we’ve all spent the last 4 years between a sex shop and a crematorium.” — The Volatile Mermaid

Like the Women’s March the day after the inauguration, people organically flooded the streets across the the country not to protest, but to celebrate. It was a party where people spontaneously danced, smiled, cheered, sang, rejoiced, drank champagne, and just existed together, in community, where they could finally EXHALE, wearing protective masks of course.

Democrats put their flags back up.

People took over Black Lives Matter Plaza in front of the White House to toast each other and sing Trump’s MAGA rally theme song that he liked to dance to by the Village People, “YMCA,” a popular gay anthem.

The American people have taken back their government, the American flag, and “YMCA.”

The last time a fascist was removed from power it took a world war. America did it with democracy. We’re back, world! The People have kicked a fascist out of office! We did it!

Allies around the world are celebrating with us. Fireworks in London and ringing of the bells in Paris. More world leaders have congratulated Joe Biden than Republican members in Congress.

“It feels like we’ve just completed an exorcism.” — Francis Fukuyama

CNN had zero fucks to give yesterday. They televised a jubilant crowd dancing and singing the hip hop song, “FDT” (Fuck Donald Trump) by YG and Nipsey Hussle. People were carrying signs that said the same.

No more calling the free press the enemy of the people. Democracy won.

“I guess we’re real news again.” — Brian Williams

A MAGA in a red hat came up behind a local news reporter in New Jersey who was covering the public’s response and asked him if he was real news or fake news. The reporter turned around and told the guy, “Buzz off.” Sounded more like “fuck off” but let’s go with buzz off so he doesn’t get fired. Someone finally said it. Fuck off.

MSNBC reporter, Katy Tur, observed a sign that things are finally getting back to normal. She tweeted: Just saw a girl vomiting into a trash can on 2nd Ave as her friend held her hair.

Poll workers risked their health for our democracy. Now many of them are self-quarantining because that’s how much respect they have for their fellow Americans. MAGAs wouldn’t understand.

A projected 161 million Americans voted this year — 23 million more than in 2016. That’s a record. 2020 could be the biggest voter turnout since 1900. Democracy was on the ballot and democracy won! The great American experiment lives on!

Joe Biden will be the second Irish Catholic president. Kamala Harris will be the first woman, first Black person, and first Asian vice president. Teachers and education will finally have an ally in the White House with Jill Biden, a teacher, as First Lady. Kamala’s husband, Doug Emhoff, will be the first First Gentleman. He also happens to be Jewish which is another big win for We the People because We the People means EVERYBODY not just rich white Christian Protestant men.

“The son of a car salesman and the daughter of immigrants will replace a racist trust fund baby and a homophobe.” — Robert Reich

Biden’s response to Trump saying he won’t go? “The United States government is perfectly capable of escorting trespassers out of the White House.”


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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.