Can’t Do That

Spike Dolomite
3 min readDec 30, 2019

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A man walked into a rabbi’s home during a Hanukkah celebration in a New York suburb and stabbed 5 people. Yes, he did that.

While the news was still fresh about Jews getting stabbed, Mike Pompeo went on Fox and Friends this morning to say that Christians are the most persecuted religion on the planet right now. Then Trump thanked the “highly respected Jewish leader Dov Hikind” for his wonderful statements about him on Fox and Friends. Yes, they really did that.

It seems like it was years ago because America is in such chaos, but it was only 20 days ago when Trump signed an executive order making Judaism a nationality. Hitler already did that. Maybe that’s why the guy who stabbed Jews on Hanukkah did what he did.

107 Democrats have signed on to having the self hating Jew white nationalist Stephen Miller impeached. Stephen Miller may feel all powerful sitting in the White House, making America white again, lurking in the shadow of the all mighty, untouchable, tyrant Trump, but he won’t get to hide there forever. He’ll face justice, just like the former Nazi guard who is on trial now for over 5,230 murders that happened 7 decades ago. Fuck Stephen Miller. His family escaped the Holocaust. How could he do that?

Being a Jew in the Soviet Union meant having “Jewish” stamped in your passport as a nationality. It also meant having to wear a yellow star pinned to your jacket during the Holocaust. Making Judaism a nationality is as anti-semetic as it gets— it means you belong somewhere else.

We can’t let him do it.

Mike Pompeo tweeted: This holiday season, a time of reflection and celebration of faith, let us not forget that the #religiousfreedom enjoyed at home remains under attack around the world and resolve to pray and fight for those who endure religious persecution on account of their faith. Grateful to @realDonaldTrump and @VP for their commitment to protect #religiousfreedom at home and abroad. Thankful for the work of @IRF_Ambassador carrying the mantle on these issues. The fight to secure a religiously free world is urgent, and the U.S. will continue to lead.

Mike Pompeo means his religion, his version of Christianity, when he talks about religious freedom. How can he do that? Because he believes he’s on a mission from God and is using his power as Secretary of State to expand Christian nationalism.

And then there’s Bill Barr. He’s using his position as attorney general to defeat secularism and enforce his morals and ideology as law. He’s just using Trump. How can he do that? Because the Republicans let him do that.

“You can’t do that — it’s against my religion” — American Christian Nationalists

The Republican party has let itself be absorbed into an evangelical Christian movement that is dead set on being the official, state religion. The whacko Christians get to do that because the Republicans let them do that.

Mike Pompeo thinks he’s on a mission from God and doesn’t have to answer to anybody but the voices in his head. He’s not supposed to do that. It’s in the Constitution.

A gun nut in shoot-em-up-open-carry Texas went to church Sunday morning and started shooting people. A couple of parishioners whipped out their guns and shot him right back.

Guns in church.

“We can all do that — guns are our religion” — American Christian Nationalists

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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