Card Carrying Domestic Terrorists

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 28, 2021

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The sitting minority leader of the Republican party in the House, Kevin McCarthy, flew to Mar-a-Lago to meet with the Biggest Loser. Did he go because a) someone had to talk him out of starting a Patriot Party b) he missed him c) they need to get their stories straight so they can tamper with the jury in Trump’s impeachment trial d) Trump didn’t have anybody to golf with e) they were plotting the next domestic terrorist attack against the US government.

The FBI and Department of Homeland Security have issued an advisory warning alerting Americans that another domestic terrorist attack on the Capitol, White House and state capitols is in the works.

After 9/11, the Senate was united and passed the Patriot Act with a 98–0 vote right away. With the terrorist attack on the Capitol by US citizens, there is no No Patriot Party Act because the Republicans are afraid that if they passed any laws that identified and punished domestic terrorists to the fullest extent of the law that there wouldn’t be anybody left to vote for them. They can’t take their membership cards away or else they’d lose their jobs.

Newly elected Republican senator Tubby the Tuba Tommy Tuberville was at the Trump Hotel the night before the attack on the Capitol. Why?

The FBI found 5 pipe bombs in domestic terrorist Ian Rogers’ possession. He was planning on using them to attack Democrats in order to keep Trump in power. They also found a bunch of guns, thousands of rounds of ammunition and a “white privilege card.”

Turns out a lot of the domestic terrorists who have been arrested own piles and piles of guns and murderous paraphenelia, all of which is legal because Republicans.

A video went viral of newly elected Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene tormenting teenaged gun violence survivor David Hogg on a street corner in DC a few months after the Parkland shooting. She followed him and hounded him with right wing gun nut talking points. He had just lost friends in a mass shooting at his school and was being harrassed by a future member of Congress. She called him Little Hitler. Another video has surfaced of her stalking him and his high school friends inside the Capitol, telling him he was too young to know that he was being used and by the left. She told the kids that legislating guns wasn’t going to stop people from killing them. Killers could use machetes like they do in Africa. She doesn’t believe that Sandy Hook really happened so naturally Kevin McCarthy put her on the Education Committee. Card carrying QAnon lunatic.

House staffers drafted a letter to the Senate describing what it was like for them to barricade themselves inside offices throughout the Capitol as a mob threatened to kill people. They asked them as a group to vote to convict Trump. Many of the staffers are young and have been doing active shooter drills in their schools for as long as they can remember because Congress hasn’t done anything to protect children from gun violence.

Marjorie Taylor Greene believes that the Las Vegas shooting in 2017 was staged to take everybody’s guns away. 58 people were murdered.

Press Secretary Jen Psaki said, “I’m not gonna speak further about her, I think, in this briefing room,” when asked to comment on Marjorie Taylor Greene. Hopefully that means she can’t comment on an ongoing investigation.

Congressman Jimmy Gomez is putting forth a resolution to expell Marjorie Taylor Greene from Congress.

A second Capitol Hill police officer has killed himself.

Republican congressman Matt Gaetz of Trump’s Patriot Party is organizing MAGAs in Wyoming to go after Congresswoman Liz Cheney for voting to impeach Trump. In a few days House Republicans could vote to kick her out of her #3 position in leadership.

House of cards.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.