CNN Sucks

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMay 9, 2023

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John McCain and CNN’s Manu Raju, back in the good old days

Liz Cheney is deputing her 2024 TV ad in New Hampshire warning voters of the dangers of a second Trump presidency. “Donald Trump is a risk America can never take again.” It’s airing in New Hampshire first because tomorrow night is the CNN town hall with Trump, live from New Hampshire.

CNN is not what it used to be. Trump used to hate CNN, remember? He called them fake news and got his cult followers to assault TV crews at his MAGA rallies, chanting “CNN SUCKS!” Now CNN wants to be the new Fox News as evidenced by their irresponsible move to treat a guy who attempted a coup like a normal presidential candidate and give him a whole hour to campaign. They shouldn’t be doing to this and for that, CNN sucks.

Remember the good old days when CNN hosts told it like it was? When Jake Tapper called Trump’s debate with Biden a hot mess inside a dumpster fire inside a train wreck and Dana Bash called it a shit show?

Remember when Anderson Cooper told Jeffrey Lord, on camera, that Trump could take a dump on his desk and he’d still defend him? Anderson apologized for doing that because it’s unprofessional but nobody cared. It’s true.

Remember when commentator Phil Mudd said he wouldn’t pat the president or wipe his ass with the Republican House Intel Report on live TV?

Remember when the 80 second clip of Don Lemon totally losing it went viral? His guest was Republican strategist, Rick Wilson, who made fun of Trump and MAGAs so relentlessly that Don Lemon couldn’t stop laughing. The only thing that would have made it funnier was if Trump, Ivanka and Fox News retweeted it which they did.

Remember when Brian Stelter had Robert DeNiro on his show and Bob said, “Fuck him” on live television?

Remember when CNN dropped Reza Aslan’s show because he called Trump a piece of shit in a tweet?

Remember when Trump tweeted a gif of himself taking CNN down at a pro wrestling event? It was a juvenile, unprofessional, unpresidential thing to do but it didn’t matter. Thomas Bossert, Trump’s Homeland Security Advisor, balked at everybody who took it as violence against the free press. He said, “No one would perceive that as a threat.”

Remember when Trump demonized the free press and then a gun nut threatened to kill a bunch of employees at CNN? Remember the bomb threat?

Remember Trump sent a letter to CNN demanding that they apologize for their poll showing Joe Biden leading? CNN’s general counsel responded by telling Trump to make America great again. He said it was the first time in its 40 year history that they had been threatened with legal action because an American politician or campaign did not like their polling results.

Remember when Trump wanted the government to start its own television network because he didn’t like how CNN covered his administration?

Remember press conferences when Trump would call CNN fake news and refuse to call on them? Remember when Trump had Jim Acosta thrown out of the White House? Remember when press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders refused to call on CNN in the White House briefing press room? Remember when his other press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, refused to call on CNN’s Kaitlan Collins and said, “I don’t call on activists?”

Kaitlan Collins will be the moderator tomorrow night. She’s no activist. She’s a sell out, working for the new Fox. She sucks.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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