Come to the Table

Spike Dolomite
4 min readOct 10, 2019

16 Kurds have been killed so far including a 6 year old little boy all because Trump gave a unilateral order to let the Turkish president, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, have his way.

Trump has released as many as 10,000 ISIS fighters out into the world which is ironic because he complained that closing Guantanamo would mean the release of 40 prisoners. When asked by reporters where ISIS is going to go now, Trump said “probably Europe.” Putin was dancing on the table tops. This is going better than he ever expected. It’s too easy.

Erdogan says he’ll release 3.6 million Syrian refugees into Europe if anyone dares call his invasion an occupation.

Trump says he doesn’t have a problem with Erdogan being “tough” on the Kurds. Trump has a thing about tough guys. That’s why it’s so easy. He’ll do anything to get to sit at the cool kids’ table in Hell.

Where is the secretary of defense and national security council during all of this? Shut out. The fate of the Kurds and Syria rests in the phone that rests in Trump’s bloody hand.

When asked about breaking a promise to the Kurds Trump replied, ”They didn’t help us in the Second World War, they didn’t help us with Normandy.” He says they’re only interested in fighting for “their land.” He heard that on TV.

Republicans are not happy with Trump for pulling out of Syria. The old Lindsey started making sense for the first time in 3 years but it’s too late. Once the cool kids invite you to sit at their table in Hell, there’s no going back.

Trump has been to Dover Air Force Base twice to greet the fallen and their families. He lied and said he goes as often as he can. He used yesterday’s visit to score political points on TV. He needed a slain soldier as a back drop so he could look like he was engaged with the military and that he cared. These somber moments are never televised. They’re private. Look at me! Look at me! Take my picture in front of this flag draped casket and make sure you get the crying widow in the shot.

Trump described the ordinarily very private moment by saying that families smile when they see him and thank him for coming. He said he was impressed that they take death so well, but then the coffin comes and they scream. He told the story about a soldier who had to have his nose rebuilt after it was shattered in “a thousand pieces.” He tried to make the soldier feel better by saying his new face was better than his.

Trump wouldn’t leave his hotel room in France for a scheduled visit to a WWI memorial because it was raining. Trump could care less about dead soldiers.

Former Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, another guy who got a job in Trump’s cabinet without a resume or interview or experience, could be in big trouble now too. News is breaking that Trump tried to get him to help get the Justice Department to drop a criminal case against an Iranian-Turkish gold trader/money launderer in US custody whose lawyer was Rudy Giuliani. The Turkish government was going to pay Mike Flynn millions under the table to get Trump to end the case but then he got busted so Trump asked Rex.

Speaking of Rudy, Rudy says that the Salem witches were treated better than Trump. This witch hunt is worse than that witch hunt.

Militia MAGAs (AKA Oath Keepers) are looking for volunteers to protect Trump in Minneapolis tonight. Trump is doing a MAGA rally in Congresswoman Ilhan Omar’s district. It’s his first MAGA rally since impeachment started 2 weeks ago. Will he lead the crowd in a “Send her back” chant? If so, will the Oath Keepers stand guard in case anyone tries to stop them?

The Southern Poverty Law Center has categorized the Oath Keepers as one of the largest radical antigovernment groups in the US today. The Oath Keepers say MAGAs need protection from “Antifa and other radical, America hating leftists.” They’re going to cause trouble tonight. MAGAs with guns are more dangerous than the average American gun nut. The closest they’ll ever get to the cool kids’ table is at Trump’s feet.

Speaking of MAGAs with guns, one of Trump’s devotees got mad at someone with an Elizabeth Warren bumper sticker and chased her down the road until he caught up to her and then pulled a gun on her.

The Third Lady is taking a break from her Be Best campaign to build a tennis court for First Families at the White House because nothing says “People’s House” like a private tennis court. She did a photo shoot where she posed with a shovel in stilettos. After that she took a seat at the table.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.