Country Song

Trump sings the Star Spangled Banner when the Confederate flag is raised

The Republicans have kicked off Black History Month by kicking Ilhan Omar off of the Foreign Affairs Committee because she’s Black. And a woman. And an immigrant. And a Muslim who wears a hijab.

White nationalist insurrectionists in, Black Muslims out. Sounds like a country song, as in our country, not yours.

Ilhan Omar said on the House floor, “This debate today, it’s about who gets to be an American.”

Alexandria Ocasio Cortez ripped the repugs another new asshole in her floor speech where she accused the Republicans of targeting women of color. AOC’s passionate speech made the good ol’ white boys nervous. Her anger reminded them of Black eyed peas and the country song, “Goodbye, Earl” because they all know deep down that if they ever went missing that nobody would miss them at all and that’s why they are the way they are.

Kevin McCarthy put Paul Gosar, who was removed from the House Oversight and Natural Resources committees for threatening AOC’s life online, back on the committees.

Pathological liar George Santos, who lied about being Jewish and having grandparents who were in the Holocaust, had the nerve to get up and say, “I rise to congratulate my colleagues on voting to remove Representative Omar from the Foreign Affairs Committee. The passage of H.R. 76 sends a strong message that we support Israel and the Jewish community.” I’m a Jew, how about you? Come on! Everybody sing!

Constituents from George Santos’s district in New York are traveling to DC today with a petition to demand that Congress vote to expel him.

Republican Congressman Andrew Clyde from Georgia is proud of how “triggered” (pun intended) the Democrats are that he has been passing out assault weapon pins to Republicans to wear instead of the traditional American flag pins. He made a video letting the majority of Americans who want stronger gun laws and the victims of gun violence know that they can stick it because the Republicans are going to stick their AR-15 pins on their lapels whether they like it or not. We’ve got the power! This is the guy who said the insurrectionists were normal tourists but was caught on camera scared shitless as the rioters made their way towards him and the rest of Congress. God Bless America is our song, not your song!

Now that the metal detectors are gone in the Capitol, representatives and their staffs face new dangers. Since a substantial number of Republicans in Congress are insurrectionists who tried to overturn the election on January 6 AND they have replaced their patriotic flag pins, they pose a real threat to Democrats and everybody else working inside the Capitol. No one will know if any of them are armed. They could do more than kick Democrats off of committees. As members of the master race who believe that Trump should still be president, they could hit the gas, race ahead, spin out, roll, and go up in flames, taking the whole country with them while they sing, “Republican Jesus take the wheel!”

Kevin McCarthy says that Democrats have told him he’s doing a great job. How great thou art.

The guy who became infamous for carrying the giant Confederate flag into the Capitol on January 6, Kevin Seefried, is sorry that he got caught and could go to jail. His attorney tried to make him out to be a sympathetic defendant by telling the judge that his client didn’t know that some people see that flag as a racist symbol but he does now and regrets it. Never mind that he tried to stab Officer Eugene Goodman with it. He really blew it this time. His wife left him and when he gets out of jail, he’ll be destitute. He never went to high school and doesn’t know anything about history so he didn’t know any better, your honor. He thought the flag represented poor white trash southern pride, that’s all. He thought he was going to a hootenanny! Shots of Southern Comfort for everybody! He was wearing a colostomy bag when he followed his son through the broken window on January 6. Have mercy on his client. The government wants 5 years and 10 months for him. He can take his colostomy bag, but not his flag. Poor guy. Maybe someone should write a country song about him.

Trump loves the poorly educated because they’ll jump through government broken windows for him wearing colostomy bags carrying the Confederate flag believing he personally invited them to a hootenanny.

There’s a Chinese surveillance balloon the size of 5 buses hovering in the skies over Montana. The Chinese say it’s a civilian weather airship used for research. It deviated far from its planned course because of the Westerlies and limited self-steering capability. The Pentagon has been keeping an eye on it but Biden decided to postpone Secretary of State Antony Blinken’s planned trip to China since the balloon is hovering over nuclear sites. The poorly educated want to shoot it. Some of those weirdos have waited their whole lives for his moment. Montana’s congressman, Ryan Zinke tweeted: Shoot. It. Down. The Chinese spy balloon is clear provocation. In Montana we do not bow. We shoot it down. Take the shot.

Sounds like a country song — Shoot it Down.



Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.