Crazy

Spike Dolomite
3 min readAug 24, 2019

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The media is blowing it by treating Trump like he’s a normal president. They shouldn’t be talking about anything else but the 25th amendment right now.

We aren’t hearing about constituents yelling at their representatives about impeachment in town hall meetings across the country during summer recess right now because the media is busy covering a crazy man. If an American screams “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ABOUT GETTING HIM OUT OF OFFICE???!!!!!” at a town hall and the media is there to cover it but it never makes it on the evening news because it got bumped for the latest crazy tweet is it still news?

“Donald Trump: Here’s a dumb idea. Press: Can you believe his latest dumb idea? I can’t stop talking about it! Trump: I am rethinking my dumb idea. Press: Good! Give us another one to talk about please.” — Andrew Yang

Trump is shrugging off Kim Jong-un testing missiles. “He likes testing missiles. We’ll see what happens.” They’re in love. Missile testing doesn’t change that.

When a reporter asked Trump about claiming to be “the chosen one,” Trump got mad and said, “It was sarcasm. It was joking. We were all smiling … you’re just a faker.”

You big faker. You crazy big fucking faker.

“I’ve always said, why hasn’t the National Enquirer gotten the Pulitzer Prize?” — Donald Trump

Trump is incapable of being embarrassed by being exposed for his own ignorance, the Republicans can’t be shamed into doing the right thing, and the media is acting like everything is normal. This is insane.

Stocks took a dump after Trump tweeted: American companies are hereby ordered to immediately start looking for an alternative to China.

I hereby order_________________? WTF? This is insane.

Trump wants everybody to stop doing business with China except for Ivanka.

The DOJ has asked an appellate court to reconsider Trump not being allowed to block people on Twitter. Insanity defense?

“Some people think he’s playing chess when actually his aides are trying to stop him from eating the pieces.” — some guy on Twitter

The Amazon Rain Forest produces 20% of the planet’s oxygen and Brazil is just letting it burn. Trump could care less. Is that because he’s a childish, heartless prick, a lazy imbecile who thinks that the rain will put the fire out, or insane?

“Trying to read Trump’s mind as a guide to the impeachment process is, well, crazy. But, as with most things Trump, it seems to be irresistible. My advice: Ignore his ‘mind.’ There’s not much in there.” — Laurence Tribe

Trump is in France at the G-7 Summit right now. Our allies think he’s crazy and they’re really pissed off at Americans for voting for such a buffoon because he’s going to get everybody killed.

We have one election left to prove to ourselves that we are better than this.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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