Cripes, Would you Look at the Time
Trump has been in office for 2 years, 48 days, 21 hours and 23 minutes and now we have to add an extra hour because of Daylight Savings. Thanks a lot, whoever made that a thing.
Trump is golfing at his own private golf club in West Palm Beach today. This is his 173rd day at a Trump golf club and the 229th day at a Trump property since he’s been in office.
There has not been a White House press briefing in 41 days.
We’re entering the third week of a Muslim woman generating more outrage than the orphaning and sexual abuse of thousands of migrant children. Republicans and xenophobes have got their boxers all up their cracks over something Ilhan Omar said. Meanwhile, we’ve made orphans out of children and are keeping them in kennels. Pull your pants out of that crack, hypocrites.
“3/9/19 5:20pm DEAR DIARY, yesterday was the 3-week anniversary of the official declaration of NATIONAL EMERGENCY and I didn’t have time to write in my journal because I spent all day online looking for the parade. You’d think on an auspicious anniversary like this, there’d be a military parade or at least a ‘Come on America let’s stick together ‘cuz it’s a NATIONAL EMERGENCY’ ticker tape parade like they used to have during WW2. I went to the City of Los Angeles Events and Street Closures website and found no parades whatsoever. What? There was an Arbor Day event in the valley where The Tree People were giving away seedlings, but no parade. There was a Farmers Market in Hollywood, but no parade. There was a health fair where you can get your blood pressure checked in an RV in Long Beach, but no parade. Then I realized what’s happening. They’re waiting on the one-month anniversary to do the big parade. That’s gotta be it.” — Jay McAdams
Is it Infrastructure Week yet?
A 30 year old Mississippi man shot and killed his wife after she tried to take the keys away from him because he was too drunk to drive. It was her birthday party. He shot and killed two other people at the party before her. Because guns.
A 21 year old man was shot in the back in a Target parking lot over a dispute over a parking space in Missouri. A 65 year old man got pissed, pulled out his gun, and shot the poor guy. The victim will never walk again. Because guns.
North Carolina teachers who carry guns to school could get a pay raise under a new bill. Because WHAT?
Trump’s fifth communications director is now gone — Fox News’ Bill Shine. He didn’t leave to “spend more time with his family.” He left to work on Trump’s re-election campaign. That’s where everybody goes who knows where the dead bodies are buried. It’s the graveyard before the graveyard. You have to sign a non disclosure agreement before you can get in. Trump is going to run for reelection in 2020 to avoid facing indictments and federal prison and Bill Shine is going to help him.
Trump complained that US generals don’t understand business.
Republican hypocrite fun fact: Gym Jordan says he has never heard Trump lie.
Mitch McConnell has too much power.
“History will condemn McConnell for his shameful role in making the Senate an adjunct of the presidency and thereby undermining constitutional democracy”– Laurence Tribe
There aren’t any selfies of Mike Pence or Lindsey Graham with Florida’s Madame Cindy Yang. Mother said, “NO!” and the other mother said, “No?”
“Imagine being the US president and you can’t even enjoy a nice afternoon cheating at golf because you’re a criminal and not even a competent one at that and you know the walls are closing in and Mueller and the SDNY are both breathing down your neck and you’re sweating like a pig” — Jeff Tiedrich
What time is it? Hammer time.
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