Cup of Joe or Cup of Blow?

Spike Dolomite
3 min readFeb 27, 2024

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg has asked a judge to impose a gag order on Trump in his New York campaign fraud case. The request is 331 pages long and includes examples of past threats that go all the way back to the Roger Stone case. He is asking that Trump not be allowed to talk about lawyers, court staff, witnesses, jurors, the judge, or the families of anybody involved in the case. The mere fact that jurors alone are in any danger whatsoever in any case involving Trump should prohibit him from being president.

Steve Bannon led a chant, “Trump won!” at CPAC after ranting about how the 2020 election was stolen and Biden isn’t president.

Kenneth Chesebro, the attorney who helped devise the fake electors plot and is one of the defendants in the Fulton County case, neglected to tell investigators that he had a fake Twitter account. The BadgerPandit posted aggressive conspiracy theories that undercut statements he made to prosecutors about his role in the scheme.

An active duty member of the US Air Force has died after setting himself on fire outside the Israeli Embassy in Washington, DC. His name was Aaron Bushnell and he was 25 years old. He did it because he would “no longer be complicit in genocide” and said that his suffering was minimal compared to that of Palestinians.

Today is the primary in Michigan. Palestinian congresswoman Rashida Tlaib is leading a protest vote against Biden for not stopping the war in Gaza. Biden is not the president of Israel.

Junior received a shipment of white powder at his house that he wasn’t expecting. He said it included a death threat. Hazmat crews showed up to check it out. It wasn’t lethal.

Did Junior send that white powder to himself for publicity? He is hawking a new product now — patriotic coffee.

“Apparently we need to buy this coffee because all the other coffee companies are communist and want to send us to the gulags.” — Ron Filipkowski

Biden’s campaign is selling Dark Brandon coffee mugs. They’re running an ad of Biden drinking from it saying, “I like my coffee dark.”

Cup of Joe or cup of blow?

More and more clinics and doctors in Alabama are pausing IVF treatment after the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos are people under state law. 1 in 6 Americans who struggle with infertility turn to IVF. It’s the complete opposite of abortion. Now women hoping to use IVF as part of her family planning can’t. The potential embryo has more rights than she does.

An explosive device was detonated outside the office of the Alabama attorney general. No one was hurt.

Republicans have fixed it so frozen embryos and guns have more rights than women.

President Biden slammed the recent Alabama Supreme Court for ruling that embryos created through in vitro fertilization are legally children as “outrageous” and “unacceptable.”

Republican Senator Mitt Romney said he’d have fewer grandchildren if it weren’t for IVF. He loves his children and grandchildren more than the rest of the Republicans must love theirs.

Good news — 93 year old Dr. Ruth Gottesman, a former professor of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, donated $1 billion to a Bronx medical school to cover tuition for all students going forward. Future doctors will help conceive future embryos!

Hungary finally gave its go ahead after 2 years — Sweden is finally part of NATO. Finland and Sweden are located between Russia and the rest of NATO so this is very good news, just in time for Putin to make his next move.

Speaking of Putin’s next move, he wants Trump to win in November. Trump’s agenda? Take orders from Putin, blow up the United States government, stay out of jail.

--

--

Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.