Damn!

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 8, 2020
Country Club protesters

Trump is out there bragging about how great the economy is (it’s not,) how the virus is going away (it’s not,) and how the election is rigged (he’s rigging it.)

Trump dismantling the post office by slowing service down in order to rig the election in his favor is hurting vets and old people who depend on the postal service to deliver their life saving medications.

23 postal executives have been “reassigned” or knocked off to give more power to Trump’s megadonor who is now in charge of running the USPS, erasing decades’ worth of institutional postal knowledge in exchange for none at all.

A high school student in Georgia who posted a back to school photo of a crowded hall where kids weren’t wearing masks got suspended for making her school look bad. CNN interviewed her and she said she had no regrets. “This is some good and necessary trouble…”

John Lewis lives on in the halls of Congress and the halls of public high schools.

A quarter million bikers are descending on to Biker Mecca in Sturgis, South Dakota, in spite of the coronavirus. 250,000 hung over bikers will be riding back to cities and towns all across the country, taking the Trump Plague with them after 10 days. Many of them could sick ON THEIR RIDE HOME. This annual event usually attracts twice as many bikers but this year the smart ones are staying home because riding is not worth dying for. It’s Ride or Die, not Ride and Die.

Trump announced that he was signing an executive order that would make it illegal for insurance companies to deny coverage to people with pre-existing conditions. Um, that already exists. It’s called Obamacare. His campaign press secretary tweeted, THIS IS LEADERSHIP! How dumb does the Trump campaign think people have to be to not know that Obamacare already protects people with pre-existing conditions? Oh, wait.

Congress still hasn’t come up with a second stimulus package. Republicans think that if the government helps the millions of people who have lost their jobs and homes because of what the government did to them, then they will lose the incentive to look for another job. They think victims of the Trump Plague are lazy.

Trump tweet: Pelosi and Schumer only interested in Bailout Money for poorly run Democrat cities and states. Nothing to do with China Virus! Want one trillion dollars. No interest. We are going a different way!

Nancy Pelosi is so pissed off at the Republicans right now she said DAMN on TV! “This isn’t Sophie’s choice! They don’t give a damn!”

Damn!

“It must be written out to really grasp it: Moscow Mitch and GOPers say there’s $765M for the Kodak-MAGA insider trading fraud scheme, $377M for WH renovations, $2B for an FBI HQ, money for fighter jets, but no money to help Americans survive and they blame Dems for not agreeing.” — Ricky Davila

Surprise! US Intelligence says Russia is trying to hurt Joe Biden. Surprise! That information is being used by Senator Ron Johnson to smear Biden.

Asked if he believes the US intel about Russia trying to hurt Biden Trump said, “It could be. I mean, I could be, very much. I think the last person Russia wants to see in office is Donald Trump.”

Trump threw an official press conference together at his private Bedminster club where he’s been golfing. The optics really sucked. His audience was members of his club who pay him hundreds of thousands of dollars a year EACH. He called them peaceful protesters.

Bill Barr got his picture taken with 13 MAGA “Blue Lives Matters” boomers in McLean, Virginia. One of them was holding a sign that read, “Minorities Back Police. Immigrants Love Law & Order.”

2 days after Jerry Falwell, Jr posted a picture of himself partying it up on his yacht with a young female in a let’s-pretend-we’re-dirty-unbaptized-horny-devils red wig, Falwell announced he’s taking an indefinite leave of absence as president of Liberty University.

NRA on Thursday, evangelicals on Friday. There is a God!

87 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.