Danger

Spike Dolomite
5 min readOct 25, 2023

--

It’s official. Trump’s former chief of staff, Mark Meadows, has been talking to the feds for at least 6 months. Jack Smith has given him immunity in exchange for his cooperation. He talked to the grand jury at least 3 times. How much immunity he got is not yet known. What is known is that he admitted that the book he wrote defending the big lie is bullshit and that he told Trump multiple times that there was no election fraud. In fact, he said that the 2020 election was the most secure election in history. He told prosecutors that he wanted to resign but hung in there to make sure that the transfer of power was made peacefully. He may not be going to jail but many he associated with will. He was the #2 guy in the plot to carry out a coup, the communication conduit who everybody texted and emailed with questions, concerns, and confirmation of plans. Over 30 members of congress, Trump’s family, and Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas’s wife, Ginni Thomas, should be sweating buckets today. He has the goods on all of them.

Jenna Ellis is the 4th defendant to plead guilty in Fulton County, Georgia. She gets no jail time in exchange for pleading guilty to a felony. She read a statement to the judge trying to make herself out to be a young, impressionable attorney who was misled by older, bad attorneys. She even cried. She wants people to think she was naive but she was everywhere with Rudy and Sidney Powell making claims. She was on TV a lot — especially Fox News.

Half of Trump’s legal team has pleaded guilty and now they’re going to testify against him.

Kenneth Chesebro, the second attorney to plead guilty, admitted he didn’t believe any of the crap he was saying about the election being stolen. He was at the Capitol on January 6, with Alex Jones.

Michael Cohen, the fix it guy who has already served time in jail for Trump, faced off with him in civil court in New York where he admitted to committing all sorts of crimes to falsify documents on property values on Trump’s behalf. He shared how he helped Trump maintain the façade of being a real estate mogul. The two never looked at each other. It was the first time they’d seen each other in 5 years. Cohen answered questions for 3 hours while Trump played with his phone like a teenager. Trump found out about Jenna Ellis and Mark Meadows on the same day that Michael Cohen ratted him out for being a phony.

Still no Speaker in the House. Tom Emmer was nominee #3 but only lasted a few minutes. He dropped out after Trump ranted about him on Truth Social, calling him a RINO and not MAGA enough. He doesn’t like Tom because Tom doesn’t like him. Nominee #4 is election denier Mike Johnson. When asked about his role in trying to overturn the 2020 election (with Republicans standing united behind him with big fake smiles on their faces), Republicans booed the reporter and told her to shut up.

On the day that the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade, Mike Johnson called it a “joyous day.” During a House Judiciary Committee hearing, he attacked Roe v Wade, insisting that if only women were forced to bring more “able-bodied workers” into the world, Republicans wouldn’t need to slash Social Security and Medicare.

Marjorie Taylor Greene said she voted against Tom Emmer because he voted to certify the election and supported marriage equality for gay people.

Since Kevin McCarthy got fired 3 weeks ago, 14 Republicans have run for Speaker.

Republican state senator Jeff Wilson from Washington state got arrested in Hong Kong for having an unregistered gun in his briefcase. He was going on a 5 week vacation in southeast Asia and says he forgot he had it. How did he get past TSA for an international flight with a gun? This presents a new meaning for packing. He’ll fundraise off of this for sure. Carrying an unlicensed firearm in Hong Kong is punishable for up to 14 years in jail. Hong Kong has some of the strictest gun laws in the world. It is also one of the safest cities in the world. He is out on bail but must appear in court next week.

Biden was interrupted while making a speech to attend to an emergency in the Situation Room. Was it about the Israel/Hamas war or was it about Putin possibly having a heart attack?

Rudy says Biden is an Iranian spy. “He’s on Iran’s side and he’s on Hamas’s side. He is not on our side. He’s got a bunch of spies in his administration. This guy is working for Iran. Why? Maybe because they’ve infiltrated his administration the way the communists infiltrated FDR’s administration.”

In the last few weeks, Trump has claimed that he defeated Obama in an election, that Jeb Bush got us involved in the Middle East, that WW2 hasn’t happened yet, that the Prime Minister of Hungary is the “leader of Turkey,” and that Democrats are “far more dangerous” than China and Russia. He says he will prevent immigrants who “don’t like our religion” from entering the United States and that his supporters need not worry about voting come election day because he’ll have “plenty of votes” — so much so that instead of voting they should “get out there and watch those voters” for Biden. He’s comparing himself to Nelson Mandela now. “I don’t mind being Nelson Mandela because I’m doing it for a reason.” In a speech in New Hampshire he said, “I’m for us. You know how you spell us, right? U.S. I just picked that up. Has anyone ever thought of that before? I’m reading and said us. You know, when you think about it, us, equals U.S. If we think of something genius, they will never say it.”

The leader of the Republican party and a candidate for president is a criminal who is totally losing it. The GOP is a clownish mess. This would all be really funny if it weren’t so freaking dangerous.

--

--

Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

Responses (28)