Den of Thieves

Covid carrying Senator Mike Lee mocks the Green New Deal with a gun toting Reagan riding a dinosaur while making a speech on the floor of the Den of Thieves

9 more members of Congress have the coronavirus; 7 Republicans and 2 Democrats. Utah Republican Senator Mike Lee didn’t die from the Trump Plague after he got it at Trump’s super spreader event in the Rose Garden a month ago. He’s alive and well after spreading it to God knows who else and is still exchanging money on the floor of the Den of Thieves in the US Capitol.

More Republicans have the Trump Plague than have admitted to Joe Biden being the president-elect. They have all sold their souls to the Devil and are pandering to Trump’s evangelical wing nut base because if they can’t make all of those rabid hypocritical hateful paranoid dumb white people believe that they are America’s best Christians, nobody will vote for them.

Rudy’s son has tested positive for the Trump Plague. He was at his dad’s press conference where he rubbed his dripping hair dye away with a snotty Kleenex. They weren’t wearing masks which put all of the reporters there covering the den of thieves event at risk. Trump’s son has it too only Junior is probably using it as an excuse to “quarantine” at rehab because he’s a coke head.

At the beginning of October, 5% of the people who were getting tested turned up positive. Now it’s up to 12.3%. Positive tests in 34 states are now above 10%. 22 states are above 15%. In North Dakota, 2/3 of the tests are coming back positive.

The governor of South Dakota, Kristi Noem, say’s bring it on, Joe. She’s daring him to make her state be smart and decent. “Joe Biden must understand South Dakotans if he wants a national mask mandate.” The infection rate in South Dakota is 8,000 cases per 100,000 people.

Meanwhile in Vermont, the Republican governor asked the people of his state to be smart and decent and adhere to CDC safety guidelines. The infection rate there is 500 cases per 100,000 people.

Toronto, Canada has been placed on a 28 day lockdown because the number of coronavirus cases are soaring. Nobody is bitching about socialism and communism because Canadians are smart and decent. They don’t have a den of thieves.

Starstruck Republican legislators from Michigan accepted Trump’s invitation to come to the White House to be bribed into helping him throw the election. When reporters confronted one of them, Mike Shirkey, at the airport about what the hell he was doing, he wouldn’t answer. Instead he started singing the hymn, “I Believe in a Hill Called Mount Calvary.” After getting to touch the garment of their lord and savior Donald Trump, they decided not to be bribed after all so Trump has banished them from the den of thieves.

Speaking of spinning scripture to get out of answering questions about supporting a dictator trying to overthrow American democracy, Marco Rubio is always tweeting out Bible quotes because he’s Florida’s best Christian. Yesterday he tweeted: Has this house which bears my name become in your eyes a den of thieves? Jeremiah 7:11

The Washington Post contacted all 53 Republican US senators for comments on Trump trying to overturn the election results. Fewer than 10 responded. Den of thieves.

Press Secretary Barbie Kayleigh McEnany got all huffy after lying for Trump in a press briefing and wouldn’t call on CNN’s Kaitlan Collins. She said, “I don’t call on activists.” Press Secretary Barbie thinks she’s the world’s best Christian because she wears a crucifix necklace every day. She’s the worst Christian. The kind that buys their cheap fake crucifix necklaces at the Den of Thieves Emporium.

Domestic terrorist Kyle Rittenhouse has been released from custody on a $2 million cash bond. The My Pillow Guy helped pay it. Kyle Rittenhouse bought the assault rifle he used to kill 2 people in Kenosha, Wisconsin with his covid stimulus check at the Den of Thieves Emporium.

The bouncer for the Den of Thieves, Bill Barr, hasn’t acknowledged that Joe Biden is the next president but he did direct the Department of Prisons to execute 3 people before the inauguration.

A federal judge just ordered Bill Barr to drop Trump’s defamation case brought by E. Jean Carroll. The DOJ will no longer be Trump’s personal counsel.

Mike Pence made an appearance at a rally in Georgia for the 2 Republican thieves who are in the running for Senate in the state run off. He didn’t mention Georgia certifying the election for Biden that day. He said the future was “unknowable” and only God holds the future. Mike Pence is the Den of Thieves’ best Christian.

60 days until the den of thieves all scramble for cover.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.