Deplored in the Ring

Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 29, 2024

The government is scheduled to shut down again unless Republicans get it together. House Speaker Mike Johnson met with President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and was way out of his league. He looked like a 40 year old virgin sitting there with Three Wise Men (a wise old guy who has more experience in federal government than anybody on Capitol Hill and is taking a lot of hits for being an old guy even though he just had his annual physical at Walter Reed and is in great shape, a wise bad ass woman who could take the weakly dumb ass Johnson to the mat with just a look — he’s so scared of her he won’t look at her, and another old guy with wisdom but not heart or conscience.)

Mike Johnson has got to figure out how to keep the MAGAs fed and the federal government fed at the same time. The House will vote on a short solution today which will extend bills until March 8 and March 22. In other words, Mike Johnson is kicking the can down the road for a few more weeks. The MAGA caucus will bite the hand that fed them no matter what the zookeeper does. Johnson will take his chances. Getting his ass kicked by a bunch of other 40 year old virgins and closeted homosexuals is better than stepping into the ring with Kamala Harris.

Mike Johnson keeps saying he won’t support assistance for Ukraine without border security as if he didn’t just tank a bipartisan Ukraine and border security bill from the Senate.

Trump’s attorneys have put it in writing that Trump isn’t a billionaire after all. He can’t afford to play the champion of the world anymore. They asked if he could put up only $100 million of the bond he needs to pause the $355 million he owes in New York. He doesn’t have the cash and he doesn’t want to sell anything to get any. If he loses, Attorney General Letitia James can take control of his bank accounts, plane, cars, jewelry, and buildings beginning on March 25. He has until then to come up with the money to appeal the ruling. The stay he requested was denied by the appellate court. For now, he can continue to take out loans and conduct business activities for a few more weeks.

Trump did have a win with the Supreme Court. It said it will hear his immunity case on April 22. The Supreme Court has agreed to consider whether a US president is above the law. If affirmed, it would not only destroy the moral, legal, and political foundations of the court itself, it would also mean that Joe Biden can start killing people and putting them in jail because he’s president and commit any crime he wants because he’s immune. The decision to hear the case is fundamentally corrupt but what makes it even scarier is the court itself is corrupt so anything can happen. The appeals court decision was bullet proof so why did they take it? This was a political decision. And why wait until April? That will only delay Trump’s criminal trial in DC even further, pushing it into presidential election calendar territory. Oh wait.

Trump is not out there declaring his innocence regarding his January 6 trial, he’s just declaring immunity from prosecution.

Mitch McConnell is stepping down as Republican leader in the Senate. Good riddance. His legacy will be that he unleashed the monster Trump on the country by preventing a conviction of Trump after impeachment. He alone could have put the stake through the monster’s heart and stopped him. We wouldn’t be in such a precarious mess if it weren’t for him. Nothing else he has done that he can be proud of in his long political career matters now. He will go down in history as being a conniving chicken shit who let a dangerous, fascist monster loose.

Apparently, Republicans were caught off guard by McConnell’s announcement and are worried now about their fundraising power.

Illinois has decided to remove Trump from its primary ballot because of his actions on January 6. Illinois is the third state to do this. Their primary is March 19.

After posting, “The Biden Crime Family will go down as the most corrupt political family in American history,” news broke that Lauren Boebert’s 18 year old son, Tyler, was arrested on 22 charges (5 felonies and 17 misdemeanors) and was being held without bond. He and three other teenagers trespassed, broke into cars, stole IDs, credit cards, and more. Last month, Tyler’s dad and Lauren’s soon to be ex-husband, Jayson Boebert, was arrested at a restaurant for violating a restraining order after he followed her into the restaurant wanting to get her back. He lied and said she punched him in the face. He was also arrested for assaulting Tyler while drunk and holding a rifle at 1 a.m. He was mad that Tyler had put his baby to bed in a laundry basket full of clothes. Jayson shoved his thumb into Tyler’s mouth with such force he almost knocked a tooth out. The Boebert hillbilly crime family picking a fight with the Bidens? Please. You’re out of your league, cowboys. Like Mike Johnson with Kamala Harris, stop embarrassing yourselves. Move away from the ring.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.