Didn’t Do It

Spike Dolomite
4 min readOct 8, 2018

Susan Collins made a couple of media appearances to convince a raped nation that she didn’t do what they said she did. On 60 Minutes she said that Kavanaugh’s confirmation process was the most painful event in her life. She went on Face the Nation and said, “The one silver lining that I hope will come from this is that more women will press charges now, when they are assaulted.”

So according to Susan Collins’ justification, little girls raped by their own fathers should feel better about pressing charges.

Going on the Sunday news shows to do damage control was like watching a batterer filled with remorse the day after he beat and raped his wife, begging her to forgive him and asking her to believe it won’t ever happen again, and then suggesting that she made him do it. If you hadn’t _________, I wouldn’t have done it.

Loud mouth liberal women who started a crowd fund campaign for Susan Collins’ future Democratic opponent made Susan Collins do it. She says they’re trying to buy votes.

Dr. Blasey Ford and her family still can’t move back into their home because of death threats.

Supporters of Kavanaugh are feeling all self righteous today, blaming the victim. Men are just a little bit safer now that the Democrats have been defeated. Listen up you vindictive sluts and liberals! Don’t think for one minute that you can blame our men for rape and get away with it! Don’t you dare do it!

Kellyanne Conway says women looked up at Brett Kavanaugh and saw their husbands, sons, and brothers. Kellyanne doesn’t know many women so how would she know.

America sacrificed women to protect men from having to take responsibility for themselves. Again.

Trump tweeted, “You don’t hand matches to an arsonist, and you don’t give power to an angry left-wing mob. Democrats have become too EXTREME and TOO DANGEROUS to govern. Republicans believe in the rule of law — not the rule of the mob. VOTE REPUBLICAN!”

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell said Trump has turned us from “We the people” to “Me the president.”

Republican City Councilman in Parkersburg, West Virginia, Eric Barber, was so excited about the Kavanaugh confirmation that he posted, “Better get your coat hangers ready liberals” on his Facebook page.

Texas Senator John Cornyn celebrated Kavanaugh’s confirmation by posting a photo of a glass of champagne on Twitter, “Not quite #Beers4Brett but #Bubbly4Brett instead.” He’s too good for beer, but not too good for Kavanaugh.

The Mormon church suggested that its female members take a 10 day break from all social media. It didn’t say men should take a break. Mormons don’t drink beer. And they don’t do it. Unless they want to make more Mormons.

3 out of 11 Republican Judiciary Committee members are Mormon - Orin Hatch, Mike Lee, and Jeff Flake. There are only 2 million Mormons in the US and almost all of them are white. Like, really white. Whitey white white. Most of them live in Utah, Wyoming and Montana, and some are spread out around the world trying to convert people. How do they do it? Mormons are on a mission.

The former dean of Yale Law School, Robert Post, wrote an op-ed about Kavanaugh (who he knows personally,) “His performance is indelibly etched in the public mind. For as long as Kavanaugh sits on the court, he will remain a symbol of partisan anger, a haunting reminder that behind the smiling face of judicial benevolence lies the force of an urgent will to power. No one who felt the force of that anger could possibly believe that Kavanaugh might actually be a detached and impartial judge. Each and every Republican who votes for Kavanaugh, therefore, effectively announces that they care more about controlling the Supreme Court than they do about the legitimacy of the court itself. There will be hell to pay.”

The American Bar Association is reopening the Kavanaugh evaluation. Hopefully it will be the last bar Brett gets kicked out of.

China has detained the President of Interpol and Saudi Arabia may have kidnapped, tortured, and brutally murdered a Washington Post reporter. There has been no statement from the US government because the US government is not functioning right now and Trump could care less.

30 days until we get to vote.

DO IT.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.