Spike Dolomite
4 min readSep 29, 2020


Tonight is the first presidential debate between Vice President Joe Biden and the grifter avoiding arrest occupying the White House. Topics will be the Supreme Court, the Trump Plague, the records of each candidate, the economy, race and violence, and the integrity of the election. Fox News’ Chris Wallace will moderate and if he doesn’t ask about Trump not paying any taxes, Joe better squeeze that in. Joe has been busy preparing. When a reporter asked Trump, “How long have you spent on debate prep?” he replied,“I’m running the country” which means he’s going to rely on his instincts and calling Joe names tonight. After being booed off of the Supreme Court steps and the New York Times story about him not paying taxes, he’s apt to have a mental breakdown tonight on TV. Narcissists don’t do well with being publicly revealed as a fraud and failure and usually lash out in retaliation so look out.

Cindy McCain publicly endorsed Joe Biden and asked everybody to put country before party and do the same by voting for Joe. That really pissed Trump off so he tweeted: I hardly know Cindy McCain other than having put her on a Committee at her husband’s request. Joe Biden was John McCain’s lapdog. So many BAD decisions on Endless Wars & the V.A., which I brought from a horror show to HIGH APPROVAL. Never a fan of John. Cindy can have Sleepy Joe!

81 Nobel Peace Prize winners have endorsed Joe Biden because he’s willing to listen to experts and he believes in science.

The Washington Post Editorial Board has endorsed Joe Biden saying his “competence and honor are more important in this cycle than any particular stand on any particular issue.” He “offers the nation a welcome, positive vision.” WaPo called Trump “the worst president of modern times.”

Former Bush cabinet member, the nation’s first Secretary of Homeland Security, and the former Republican governor of Pennsylvania, Tom Ridge is putting country before party by voting for Joe Biden. As the man who once had the job of protecting America, he said that Trump is a danger to the country and will therefore not support him.

Former Republican governor of Ohio and presidential candidate, John Kasich, is endorsing Joe Biden.

The Republican governor of Vermont, Phil Scott, announced “I won’t be voting for President Trump.”

The great conservative political commentator George Will has never voted for a Democrat in his entire life and he’s voting for Joe Biden.

Kellyanne Conway’s husband is voting for Joe Biden.

Lifelong Republican Clint Eastwood is voting for Joe Biden.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is voting for Joe Biden. He’s a Republican.

Republican Captain Chesley (Miracle on the Hudson) “Sully” Sullenberger, is voting for Joe Biden.

More than 200 retired generals and admirals have endorsed Joe Biden. Some of them have served under Trump. 500 national security officials and retired military leaders have praised Biden as being the “leader our nation needs.” He has empathy, honesty and integrity, and his “positions are rooted in sound and judgement, thorough understanding, and fundamental values.” Two recently retired four-star officers who served under Trump have condemned the commander in chief they served.

200 current and former law enforcement officials have endorsed Joe Biden, calling Trump “lawless.”

Over 350 former Bush, Romney and McCain staffers are voting for Joe Biden.

Angela fucking Davis is voting for Joe Biden. If she can vote for him, everybody can.

Osama bin Laden’s niece has endorsed Trump. Trump’s niece has endorsed Joe Biden.

Bette Midler has a great idea for tonight’s debate. Joe Biden should start every response by looking at the moderator and saying, “Well, that’s the 750 dollar question, isn’t it?”

Tonight’s debate should be, in the word of the president of the United States, a “disaster.”

35 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.