Do the Right Thing

Spike Dolomite
4 min readApr 22, 2019

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Trump went golfing with Rush Limbaugh at the southern mobster plantation over the Easter/Passover weekend.

It’s ironic, seeing these 2 aging, filthy rich, gluttonous philandering lying con men together on such a holy weekend — these cholesterol saturated, conservative firebrand (man) boobs not in church on Easter, but golfing. GOLFING. The MAGAs and Ditto heads don’t see the irony because they bought the Republican Christian brand which says you get to be a Christian simply by just saying you are. It’s much easier to just buy the brand in America because you can do it while sitting, watching TV, and eating. You don’t have to actually get up and go drive to the mall to buy it. Why work to be more like Jesus when you can just buy the brand? It makes people feel good about themselves. I’m a Christian! I’m a Christian! What’s a Christian? Whatever the Republicans say it is. In reality, it’s the liberals who actually exemplify the teachings of the radical revolutionary Jesus. Love thy neighbor, welcome the stranger, feed the poor, heal the sick. Republicans just love the sinner — themselves.

On Easter in Sri Lanka, while people were praying in churches, 8 bombs went off in 3 churches and 3 luxury hotels killing at least 300 people and sending at least 560 people to the hospital, some of them were Americans. Trump sent his condolences for the 138 million people who were killed in a tweet. Someone banged on the bathroom door and yelled at him to delete the tweet, which he did, but it was too late. Trump showed the world that he’s a pandering, insensitive, lazy charlatan without a communications director, but the world knew that already.

As soon as the Russia probe started, Trump asked senior intelligence officials to publicly counter the news stories that accused his campaign of having ties to Russia. Fake news. Witch hunt. Hoax. Yadda yadda yadda. Now that the report is out he’s finding out just how many people he asked to lie and cover for him didn’t and he’s sizzling mad. He is punishing Don McGahn’s law firm because McGahn wasn’t loyal.

What would the Republican Jesus do? Get revenge.

Trump’s approval rating has dropped since the Mueller report was released which upsets Trump more than anything. His public image is that of a dishonest president who is regularly managed, restrained or ignored by his staff. He’s so pissed. He’s losing control of his brand and thus, the con.

Rudy Giuliani says that Mueller tried to frame Trump with his report and that there was nothing wrong with Trump’s campaign getting help from the Russians.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: To save the president the embarrassment of an impeachment trial, principled Republicans should go to Trump and ask him to resign just like they did with Nixon, but there aren’t any principled Republicans so Trump will keep tweeting on the job, sitting on the crapper, with Fox News blaring in the other room.

The Democrats are trying to figure out what to do now. Trump obstructed justice. The ball is in their court. Do they do their constitutional duty and begin impeachment proceedings or do they do what the Republicans would do and kick the can down the road to appease lazy voters so they can win in 2020?

“Hate to frame it this way, but the inevitable finality facing House Dems is they either punish Trump for his acts of obstruction as detailed in the Mueller report, or history records that Congress sided with Bill Barr’s conclusion that Trump’s actions were legally permissible.” — Former Republican Congressman David Jolly

“Not impeaching Trump is partisan politics. It’s admitting that our justice system can be brought to a halt just because one party refuses to acknowledge the rule of law. Only by impeaching can Democrats show they’re above such partisanship.” — Michael Stone

Congressman Elijah Cummings is begging Americans to pay attention and demand justice by pressuring their elected representatives to do the right thing. Trump will be “emboldened” if Democrats do nothing.

“It’s rare people regret doing the right thing, even if they fail to achieve their end goal. The ‘what-ifs’ are what keep people up at night with shame and regret.” — Sarah Kendzior

Nancy Pelosi is going to get everybody on the phone today to talk about impeachment this morning.

They better do the right thing.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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