Donnie and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJul 9, 2020
The Supreme Court ruled that the president can indeed be held accountable if he shoots people on 5th Avenue

At a rare coronavirus task force press briefing, Pence said everything is cool. Arizona, Texas and Florida have things under control. Things are not cool and the spread of the coronavirus in Arizona, Texas and Florida is out of control. Dr Fauci wasn’t there. Dr. Birx was. Trump keeps her on because she’s subservient. She told reporters, “Masks can be a fashion statement.” WTF? FASHION? They were all lined up behind the podium wearing masks like runway models during Fashion Week in New York. The fashion statement they were making was “All For Show Runway Runaway.” As soon as they got backstage they took it all off. They wouldn’t walk down the street wearing one of those things anymore than a runway model in New York would wear the latest hot designer’s eggs and bacon corset with a diaper bag over her head.

Trump plans to issue his own guidelines for the reopening of schools because the CDC’s guidelines are too restrictive. Cram those kids into classrooms and no masks! They’ll make me look bad! Anti-public education Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos smacked governors down for being too cautious. She said that astronauts take risks so kids should too.

Parents will send their kids back to school once Michael Flynn goes to jail, and Manafort and Cohen go back to jail.

When Press Secretary Barbie was asked about Trump “cutting schools off” financially if they don’t reopen to his liking, she said that Trump wants funding to go to the student and “not to a district where schools are closed.” Schools haven’t been closed. Teachers have been teaching online but they wouldn’t know that because they’re really not that interested.

Hospitals in Houston are starting to look like New York. Not enough beds. Not enough PPE for doctors and nurses. People working around the clock, death everywhere. People are dying at home and they aren’t being counted. Texas Republicans have cancelled their convention in Houston next week but they want everybody to get back to work and they want to see butts in classroom seats!

Fox News’ Laura Ingraham says that schools are being used to “turn your kids into mini Ilhan Omars.”

Tucker Carlson says that masks and social distancing “have no basis in any kind in science. It’s like a kind of bizarre health theater.” Fox News is bizarre theater. That’s their defense whenever anybody tries to sue them for slander or lying to their viewers.

Nearly half of the employees at an Arizona ICE detention center have tested positive for the coronavirus.

At least 26 members of the Mississippi state legislature have just tested positive.

The Tulsa City-County Health Department says the increase in the amount of coronavirus cases is most likely due to Trump’s rally. 261 new cases on Monday (a record high,) and 206 cases yesterday.

There were nearly 60,000 new cases of coronavirus yesterday, the biggest one-day increase for any country.

Nancy Pelosi called Mitch McConnell “Moscow Mitch” on Joy Reid’s show because he hates that. She’s so good at that.

The hideous, grotesque wooden sculpture in Slovenia of Melania was set fire on the Fourth of July, in solidarity with the take down of confederate statues in Novaccinia?

Lt. Col Alexander Vindman, one of the only patriots who had the guts to stand up to Trump by testifying during the impeachment hearings, has retired from the US Army. His full statement: “Through a campaign of bullying, intimidation, and retaliation, the President of the United States attempted to force LTC Vindman to choose: Between adhering to the law or pleasing a President.” His patriotism cost him his career and not a single Republican has come to his defense.

New York City is painting ‘Black Lives Matter’ directly in front of Trump Tower today.

The Supreme Court announced its decision on Trump’s taxes this morning. Both Congress and the Manhattan district attorney can see his taxes and other financial records. His 2 appointees, Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh, ruled in favor. This is the Wholly Grail…..the only thing that Trump cares about and the one thing that will truly expose him for the criminal fraud that he is. The highest court in the land has ruled that the president is not above the law. Now that he’s shot all of those people on 5th Avenue, he could actually go to jail.

Donnie is going to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.