Don’t It Make the White Boys Blue

In an off year election Democrats trampled Republicans everywhere but where the KKK is most active. The Blue Wave pummeled the red in the face Republicans for the third year in a row.

For the first time in 38 years, Democrats took control of the city council in Columbus, Indiana, Mike Pence’s hometown. His brother, Greg, is a congressman representing that district.

The socialists won in Kentucky! After Trump did a rally for the Republican incumbent and begged people to vote for him (the governor, not him, no wait……) he LOST. Trump won Kentucky by 30 points so this is a big, big, big, big lose (insert diabolical laugh track here.) Kentucky now has a Democratic governor. Since Moscow Mitch is polling at 18% in Kentucky, he may want to rethink running for re-election to spend more time with his money.

That’s not all! The Dems took control of the state legislature in Virginia! Virginia is once again for lovers. Juli Briskman, the woman who got fired for flipping Trump off while she was riding her bike making her an American hero overnight won her first election in the county Board of Supervisors race in Virginia and Danica Roehm, the first transgender to be elected to office won re-election to the Virginia House of Delegates.

The Democratic takeover of the Virginia legislature has cleared the path for Virginia to be the 38th state to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment which would ban discrimination on the basis of sex and guarantee equality for women under the Constitution. The only states left are the Dakotas, Idaho and the entire fucking South.

The NRA headquarters is located in Virginia (insert diabolical laugh track here.)

Since Trump was installed, Democrats have flipped governorships in Kansas, Nevada, New Mexico, New Jersey, Illinois, Maine, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Kentucky. People have had it with Republican bullshit.

Earlier in the day, Moscow Mitch made a statement, flanked by his old white man body guards (other Republican senators that he takes everywhere with him) and said, “If it were today, I don’t think there’s any question it would not lead to a removal. So the question is just how long does the Senate want to take? How long do the presidential candidates want to be here on the floor of the Senate instead of in Iowa and New Hampshire?” (insert diabolical laugh track here.)


Trump says he is turning his focus to the Louisiana governor’s race. He’s going to lure the klan out to deliver a BIG WIN for Republicans in Louisiana! Either that or he’ll just buy it and never pay for it and call it the Louisiana purchase.

Mississippi is still burning. They’re still red. The dumbest, poorest state in the nation is still red. No surprise. The KKK hates Democrats as much as they do black people, Jews, gays and foreigners.

The first day of Roger Stone’s trial went as expected — some guy had a seizure during jury selection which cleared the room. Roger was sweating so bad he ran out of the courtroom saying he had food poisoning. Milo Yiannopoulos was there.

Gordon Sondland’s transcript was released. In it he didn’t recall an awful lot and then at the last minute he recalled something. Oh yes! Now he remembers! There was a quid pro quo after all. Yep, now he “recalls.” His attorney must have explained to him that if he didn’t hurry up and recall he was going to go to jail for Trump so he recalled.

“Maybe this level of integrity is all we should expect from someone who bought their way into a position with a million dollar inauguration donation, knowing all the while how big the stakes were and how wholly unqualified he is.” — Amee Vanderpool

Lindsey Graham doesn’t care. He didn’t read Sondland’s transcript nor will he be reading any of the other transcripts because he says it’s all BS. As a US Senator, he will be one of the jurors for Trump’s impeachment trial and he has already made up his mind that Trump is not guilty. Lindsey is guilty of something and that’s why he’s protecting Trump’s guilt. How much more guilty can the chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee look right now? What’s his big secret? We’re going to find out sooner or later, Lindsey, so give it up (insert diabolical laugh track here.)

Republicans are going to have a really bad day today now that they know that impeachment hasn’t destroyed the Democratic Party (insert diabolical laugh track here.)

“These are the moments where my anger is somewhat palpable because you’ve just got to be honest. These are — in today’s Republican Party — spineless politicians rotten to the core, without virtue, without any level of human integrity, devoid of self-respect, self-reflection, without courage, and without the moral compass to recognize their own malevolence”— Former Republican Congressman David Jolly

(insert diabolical laugh track here.)

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.