Don’t Sweat It

“Who do you like more? The country or the Hispanics?” — Donald J. Trump

Yes. He really did say that at his MAGA rally in New Mexico last night.

The House Judiciary Committee is holding it’s first official impeachment hearing today, “Presidential Obstruction of Justice and Abuse of Power.” Womp Womp Corey Lewandowski is the first witness. Trump had his attorneys send over a letter claiming executive privilege only Lewandowski was never a White House employee. Womp Womp thinks his testimony will make a great campaign ad. He’s running for the Senate seat in New Hampshire. He plans on being a hostile witness and will put on quite a show for the camera to appeal to MAGA voters in his state. Behold, his morning tweet: Excited about the opportunity to remind the American people today there was no collusion no obstruction. There were lots of angry Democrats who tried to take down a duly elected President. Tune in.

Let them all be as obnoxious as possible. If they act like the Jerry Springer trailer trash that they are, and start a food fight on TV, so be it. The more outrageous the better so more people will tune in. Impeachment must play out on TV to be successful. This is a reality TV presidency. Live, eat and tweet by the TV, die by the TV.

A whistle blower has come forward but we don’t know what they want to whistle about because they are being held back by the acting Director of National Intelligence. He says there are “privilege issues.” If true, that means that it would have to involve communications with Trump or people close to him. Trump is sweating like a pig.

Add more sweat. Trump is facing his first foreign policy crisis and so far, he’s going in the direction of what is best for him and his business interests. He could bomb Iran for Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia buys and rents his buildings. If he uses his power to go to war with Iran on their behalf they might buy and rent more of his buildings. No sweat!

Trump responded within a day to an attack on the Saudi Kingdom but has yet to do anything about Russia attacking the United States. He spent 3 decades bitching about the US being duped into defending Saudi Arabia. Sweat hog.

When asked if he thinks that it’s Saudi Arabia’s responsibility to defend itself Trump said, “The Saudis are going to have a lot of involvement in this if we decide to do something…and that includes payment, and they understand that fully.”

Trump said the US is more prepared for war than any country in the history of “any history.” Everybody sweat.

8 Years of Trump’s tax returns have been subpoenaed by the Manhattan District Attorney. The public won’t be able to see them unless they’re used in a criminal case. This is going to piss Trump off like nothing else has. He could get so mad he could start a war with Iran. Everybody sweat.

Moscow Mitch’s wife, Elaine Chao, is finally being investigated for possible conflicts. Her family has a shipping company which has deep financial ties with the Chinese government. Mrs. Moscow Mitch is Trump’s transportation secretary.

Never let them see you sweat.

Sean Spicer was on Dancing with the Stars last night, dressed as a pineapple. He danced the same dance he danced for Trump and made a fool of himself. Live from New York! It’s Monday Night!

Trump sweated like a pig last night doing his MAGA rally in New Mexico. He pandered to the Hispanics, pointing to Hispanic Advisory board member, Steve Cortes — “He happens to be Hispanic, but I’ve never quite figured it out, because he looks more like a WASP than I do, nobody loves the Hispanics more…….who do you like more, the country or the Hispanics?” Cortes replied, “the country,” and then Trump said, “I don’t know………I may have to go for the Hispanics to be honest … we love our Hispanics.” Then he bragged about being up by 17 points with the Hispanics and that the Hispanics want the wall. Then he pooped all over California by saying it was always complaining, is not doing great, and should be more grateful for the border wall.

He didn’t declare war on Iran during his sweaty rant in New Mexico so we shouldn’t sweat?

When Trump sweats before thousands of people he probably thinks of himself as Elvis in front of a sea of horny women throwing their underwear at him. The rest of us see a deranged, over weight, aging lunatic who might stroke out at any moment.

“You know a Trump rally is starting to wind down when he promises to cure cancer and AIDS” — Aaron Rupar

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.