Dumb and Dumber

Mitch McConnell wore a tan suit and the Democrats could have cared less.

One of the members of Congress who helped plan the attack on the Capitol has finally been served a subpoena from fellow member of Congress, Eric Swalwell. The server was very patient and clever and waited it out so he could catch Mo Brooks’s wife at home. She was so pissed. The whole thing was caught on their home security video which Mo stupidly posted along with a picture of his laptop screen which had a sticky note with his Gmail password written on it. One of the dumbest members of Congress posted his password to his Gmail account on his Twitter account. But wait, it gets dumber. He sits on the Cyber, Innovative Technologies, and Information Systems sub-committee.

Speaking of videos of dumb Republicans, state rep Mike Nearman of Oregon was caught on video telling an audience how he was going to help insurrectionists get inside the Capitol. He not only let a mob of anarchists in through a locked door to attack government, but he confessed his role in it on camera. Dumb shit.

Dumb shit Trump is suspended from Facebook until January 2023.

Devin the Dumb Shit Nunes hasn’t tweeted in 6 months.

Now we can all hear what Dumb Dumb Rudy told a Ukranian official in a recording where he’s asking the official to lie about outlandish, ridiculous conspiracies about Joe Biden in exchange for the US doing what it already said it would do. Soon after Dumb Dumb Rudy did that Trump was recorded pressuring the top Ukranian official, President Zelensky, which got him impeached the first time. Rudy and Trump — Dumb and Dumber.

The Senate released its own Capitol Hill Police attack report which doesn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know. The Capitol Police knew that Trump’s mob was going to do what they did. They heard about it from social media. Everybody at the top of command did nothing to protect the police or defend the Capitol. We knew this already. What we don’t know is WHY.

Joe Manchin opposes the voting rights bill which he co-sponsored in 2019. First he supported protecting the right to vote and now he doesn’t. Pretty dumb politics or pretty sinister and racist?

Hate crimes and gun violence are up in Canada. What’s going on, Canada? Are you becoming more like US? Don’t be dumb!

Sundown sirens are still happening in various parts of the US. They were first used hundreds of years ago to alert anyone who wasn’t white know that they’d better get on home and stay out of the white man’s sight. Minden, a rural town in Nevada, is finally going to stop sounding their racist relic after doing it every day at noon and 6 p.m. since 1908.

California’s strict gun laws just got less strict now that dumb shit Judge Roger Benitez overturned the state’s three decades old ban on assault weapons. He compared them to Swiss Army knives and said that they were the “perfect home defense weapon.” Dumb, dangerous, and dastardly.

Audrey Ann Southard, who once sang at Carnegie Hall, has been charged with using a flagpole to push a police officer into a statue during the Capitol riots. Dumb ass. She has ruined her life.

Meanwhile in dumb fuck Missouri, Republicans in the state legislature are making total fools of themselves again. Patricia Ashton Durges is under federal investigation for claiming to have discovered a cure for covid and selling her snake oil to gullible Missourians. She also charged them for the covid vaccine which is free and she’s not a doctor. She was asked to resign but she refused so the Republicans stripped her of her committee assignments and kicked her out of her office. She still refused to leave. She moved her stuff into a closet to use as her office. Another Republican is in trouble for having sex with a drunk teenager back when he was a cop in 2015. On a positive note, they finally got rid of Rick Roeber. He too refused to resign but then finally relented and said he was going to spend more time with his family that he’s estranged from because they hate his guts because he molested and beat them. He denied the accusations and said that his kids only claimed that because they’re Democrats. The dumbest people in Missouri voted for that guy.

Some dumb ass homophobes turned up in California (yes, California is home to homophobes too, just not a whole lot of them) and got outed on social media after they screamed at 2 lesbians kissing in a hotel pool. Pediatrician Aimee Harris from Palo Alto went on a vulgar rant and flipped the women off. In honor of Pride Month, Americans Against Homophobes (not an official group, just anybody who supports the LGBTQ community) took to the internet to give her some reviews such as “She literally punted my baby into a wall,” “She poured hot grease on my baby,” and “She told my kid that he was ugly and that Santa isn’t real.” Don’t do the hate crime if you don’t want the shade online, dumb asses.

How much dumber are we going to go, America?

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.