Newly elected Republican congresswoman Maria Elvira Salazar from Miami will miss the swearing in ceremony because she’s got the coronavirus. Reality TV doctor, Dr Drew, has got the coronavirus too, after denying it and supporting Trump. He’s enjoying the Celebrity Covid Cocktail and receiving antibody infusions. Republican state senator in Virginia, Ben Chafin, is dead from covid. Georgia Senator David Perdue is in quarantine because he came into contact with an infected campaign staffer. Lucky for him — he can use it as an excuse to stop campaigning against Jon Ossoff because he’s really scared of him. Filthy rich scaredy cat dumb ass Republican criminal.

Dumb ass conspiracy theorists are going nuts over at Parler, the new Facebook for MAGAs, QAnon weirdos, Dittoheads and serial killers. They are certain that the coronavirus is a leftist plot to take over the country because only Republicans are dying from the coronavirus. That’s right, Democrats are murdering Republicans with a hoax.

A pharmacist in Wisconsin intentionally destroyed 500 doses of the covid vaccine. As a result, a clinic unknowingly gave out 57 shots with the bad vaccine.

Speaking of serial killers in Wisconsin, a hospital worker got arrested for leaving hundreds of doses of the covid vaccine out of the refrigerator on purpose.

A pharmacist in Texas watched 30 doses of the vaccine go bad because dumb ass Texas has screwed up the roll out so badly that they can’t find enough “eligible” recipients to give the vaccine to.

1 in every 1,000 Americans has died from the coronavirus. Meanwhile in South Korea, it’s 1 in every 65,000.

Trump blew off his maskless super spreader New Year’s party at Mar-a-Lago with Vanilla Ice and Rudy to go back to DC early to assume his dumb ass position and sulk.

Republican Senator John Cornyn of Texas is posting pictures of decadent meals he’s eating and recommending restaurants while people in his state are lining up for whatever is left at local food banks.

People are starting to receive their measly $600 stimulus checks. Whoopty doo.

Mitch McConnell says the reason why he blocked voting on $2,000 stimulus checks is because of the Democrats — “The Senate is not going to be bullied into rushing out more borrowed money into the hands of Democrats’ rich friends who don’t need the help.” Democrats and their rich friends? Republicans have most of the rich friends. The poor and middle class’s only friends are the Democrats.

Nancy Pelosi’s house in San Francisco was vandalized. Someone put a dead pig’s head in her driveway and poured red paint all over and then spray painted the message “$2K (crossed out) — CANCEL RENT — WE WANT EVERYTHING” on the garage door. Um, wrong legislator, dumb ass. Speaker Pelosi and the Dems have wanted way more than $600 for months and when Trump pulled his “Give them all $2,000” stunt she called his bluff and put a vote on the House floor to increase the stimulus checks to $2,000 and Mitch blocked it. Wrong garage door, dumb ass.

Speaking of dumb asses and stupid stunts, Republican Senator Josh Hawley from dumb fuck Missouri says he’s going to make a scene by getting in the way of the electoral college certification process next week for attention. “Somebody has to stand up. 74 million Americans are not going to be told their voices don’t matter,” he said. Hawley has pushed himself to the forefront of the authoritarian chaos by being the one guy in the Senate to get behind Trump and endorse his conspiracy theory that he won the election. He’s a calculating shrewd populist like Trump who wants to be Trump. He’s auditioning to be the 2024 Republican candidate for president with this stunt and is going to get as much free media attention as he can right now so he can stick in the thick dumb ass MAGA collective brain. A democratically elected politician says he doesn’t believe in democracy. MAGAs love it.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Josh Hawley is an elitist pretending to me a dumb ass yeehaw. He went to both Stanford and Yale and rails against the elites. MAGA voters eat it up. They’re too dim witted to make the connection. He used to be a state attorney general and once blamed human trafficking on the sexual revolution. He had only been in the Senate a year when he introduced legislation to limit access to social media to 30 minutes a day.

Atlanta attorney Lin Wood, Trump’s biggest fan, predicted that Mike Pence could face execution by firing squad for treason. Keep it up dumb ass yeehaw. The run off election in Georgia is coming up and the more dumb ass big mouth Republicans from that state making fools of themselves the better because over 3 million people have already voted early — the most in Georgia history. Dumb ass Republicans drawing attention to themselves will work against them on election day.

People of Georgia — if you want to be rid of Mitch McConnell, don’t be a dumb ass. Vote for Raphael Gamaliel Warnock and Jon Ossoff on Tuesday.

18 days and that dumb ass will be out on his big fat dumb ass.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.