Spike Dolomite
4 min readDec 7, 2023

Kevin McCarthy is out. He told Republicans and America to go fuck themselves and is quitting at the end of the month. His announcement comes 2 months after he made history for getting fired as Speaker. This takes the Republican majority down by 2 seats leaving them with a 2 seat majority. What’s even more problematic for them is he’s their #1 fundraiser. He quit schmoozing with rich people and corporations awhile ago which has brought donations down for Republicans and the party by 70%. They’re in such chaos they don’t care. They’re like, “eh.”

McCarthy blew much of the money he got out of big donors on treating himself like a rock star. His PAC spent over $1 million on hotels, private planes, food and booze from 2012 through June 2023, 10 times more than any of the top 7 lawmakers in both parties in the House and Senate did. Kevin doesn’t give a shit. He’s like, “eh.”

There was a shooting on the campus of the University of Nevada in Las Vegas. 3 people were murdered. This makes 631 mass shootings in 340 days for 2023. Just another mass shooting in America. Eh.

The shooting happened as 6 Nevada Republicans were indicted for being fake electors. One of them was the former state party chair. Nevada is the third state to indict Republicans for trying to end democracy. First Georgia, then Michigan, now Nevada. Hey Nevada fake electors! “Eh?”

The Republicans held their fourth presidential debate and Trump blew it off. Again. A candidate for president refusing to debate is historical and newsworthy and everybody is like eh.

Trump has said explicitly and publicly that if he were elected he would use the Justice Department to go after his enemies, he would use the government to target his political foes. In a media gift for Trump where Sean Hannity asked him easy questions in front of an all white audience at a “town hall” in Iowa, Trump claimed he’d get 150 million votes and become a dictator on day 1. At a Save America rally, he told the crowd, “We’ve been waging an all out war on American democracy.” A third of the country is like, “eh” because they’ll vote for him no matter what he says and does. Another third are like, “eh” because they don’t follow politics and don’t care, and the final third who do follow politics, does care, and lives in fear of losing democracy because 2/3 of the country is ambivalent or stupid, is like, “No eh! No eh! COME ON! No eh!”

Karen Smith, school board president of Central Bucks, Pennsylvania was sworn in for another term on a stack of banned books. She’s no eh.

Ron DeSantis fun fact: Staff members had to scramble to buy a Bible on Amazon for $21 right before his inauguration because when they asked him for his family Bible to be sworn in on they learned that he didn’t own one.

Kelsey Grammer must have run out of money because he rebooted his Frazier show. He’s out there promoting it now. He’s a MAGA which is problematic for his PR team. They cut a BBC interview short when he started talking about Trump, outing himself as a racist sexist homophobic fascist. Frazier fans are like, “eh.”

The earth without art is just “eh.” Ever since Trump and MAGA came along they’ve been quiet. They’re sad, overwhelmed, scared, disenchanted, and they can’t pay the rent. We need them. Life really sucks without them. Bring back the arts. Vote Democrat 2024.

A sovereign nation recognized by the United Nations was attacked by a terrorist organization but when they retaliated in kind they were accused of genocide by millions of people who don’t know the history of Hamas, the terrorist organization who attacked it, and the Palestinians who Hamas and the rest of the Muslim world use as pawns, nor do they know much about the history of the genocide of the Jews and how the nation state of Israel came to be and survives in spite of its enemies claiming it should cease to exist as well as all of the people who not only live there, but live anywhere around the world. Looks like schools have failed to adequately teach the Holocaust like they did slavery. Black Lives Matter is getting people up to speed on systemic racism. Nobody is getting people up to speed on antisemitism so Jews around the world are sitting ducks right now. Public sympathy is going towards Palestinians but not for the Jews. It’s the first day of Hanukkah but pro Palestine protesters are like, “Eh, Happy holidays!”



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.