Elections Have Consequences

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 21, 2023

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Trump’s legal defense fundraising website got hacked. MAGA visitors who logged on to donate their social security checks to Trump were surprised to find that Trump wanted them to donate their money to the ACLU instead. He also told them it was bad to lie.

While Trump was making history by being the first president to try and overturn the government, history was being made at Camp David by the current president for brokering peace and cooperation between the United States, South Korea and Japan. Biden’s decades of experience and wisdom accumulated as a US Senator and Vice President had led to this moment. This represents another major step toward the establishment of a new trilateral alliance between the US, Japan and South Korea.

Elections have consequences.

Trump told Fox News that Putin would have never invaded Ukraine if he was president because he was the “apple of his eye.”

Elections have consequences.

A rare hurricane developed in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Baja, Mexico. Hurricane Hillary hit the US border as a powerful tropical storm and took out roads and power with flash floods and landslides. Southern California, which never gets any rain in August, made history two times in one day when an earthquake hit during a hurricane.

Another sealed case has been filed in DC. What could it be? Another classified documents case against Trump? Any or all the 30 unindicted co-conspirators are getting charged? Something related to the investigation into Trump’s fundraising for “election fraud?”

When it arraigns it pours!

Trump’s lead attorney, John Lauro, is not a big shot from a high powered law firm. His practice is just him, another attorney, and a paralegal and they’re going up against the Department of Justice. Trump is so cheap (or broke) he won’t spend his own money to pay for a star studded defense team to keep him out of prison. He’s spending his cult followers’ money to pay for a cut rate lawyer. Either nobody reputable will represent him or he’s too cheap to hire anybody reputable.

Christopher Worrell, a member of the Proud Boys who was found guilty of pepper spraying cops on January 6 and convicted on 7 counts, disappeared days before his sentencing. He’s on the run.

Lawyers for Proud Boy leader Enrique Tarrio are seeking leniency for their client because he’s upset. The isolation of being in jail has had a negative impact on his mental health. They say he’s anxious. Poor Boy.

Maria Bartiromo asked RNC chair Ronna McDaniel on her Fox News show what she’s going to do to “protect” Trump’s fake electors that are getting arrested. Ronna and the RNC played a big role in the fake electors plot. Read the Select Committee’s final report to find out how.

One of the many conspiracy theories that the MAGAs believe in is that the Select Committee destroyed evidence. Everything they did is public and can be found online. They could read for themselves but they don’t read. That’s why they are so susceptible to conspiracy theories.

All the Republicans who voted to keep Trump in office after he attempted a coup and then hid behind “let the courts decide” don’t want the courts to decide. All of them who wanted the ballot box to decide could be under investigation for helping Trump try and dump ballot boxes.

Legal scholars are coming together to say that Trump is disqualified from running for president. They say states can keep Trump from getting on their ballots under the 14th Amendment, Section 3. The corrupt Congress can’t protect him. No lawsuits need to be filed. Trump is automatically disqualified because he “engaged in insurrection or rebellion.”

A small business owner in Lake Arrowhead, a mountain town in California, was shot and killed by an angry homophobe because she hung a Pride flag outside of her shop. Laura Ann Carlton had 9 kids and a lot of friends. The cops shot and killed the shooter. All the anti-LGBTQ rhetoric pushed by Republicans to stir up the hate vote has a deadly price.

Elections have consequences.

Speaking of hateful Republicans stirring up vitriolic attacks at the gay community, Ron DeSantis, who went to war with his state’s biggest employer and tax payer over their defense of LGBTQ employees and guests, has asked Disney to drop its lawsuit. Nope. They’re suing him for damages.

DeSantis fired another state attorney. This time in the 9th Judicial Circuit (Orlando area.) The democratically elected prosecutor is a Democrat and a black female. He claims she isn’t prosecuting crime aggressively enough. Monique Worrell (no relation to Proud Boy above) responded by saying, “If we are mourning anything this morning, it’s the loss of democracy. I am your duly elected State Attorney, and nothing done by a weak dictator can change that.” This is the second time he has removed a democratically elected prosecutor whose politics did not align with his authoritarian views. The first one was in the other largest jurisdiction in the state. Both were replaced by Republicans. DeSantis is running for president not to make America great again, but to make America Florida.

The latest death toll in Maui stands at 114 dead and 1000 missing. Oprah showed up with her entourage while tourists snorkeled in the very water that Hawaiians had just drowned in. Islanders died because water was diverted from their community to accommodate tourists staying in posh hotels owned by rich American and Japanese businessmen, creating drought conditions that led to a deadly fire fueled by climate change. This tragedy was ignored by more tourists and exploited by celebrity which is very, very American.

Elections have consequences.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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