Elephant Fart

Mueller is testifying before the House Judiciary Committee right now and as expected, he’s not giving up anything that’s not in the redacted version of the released report. It’s anti-climatic to anyone who has read the report, but for most people, it’s news. This is the audio book version of the Mueller Report.

So far it has been established that:

7 defendants have been convicted and plead guilty. Russian interference was “sweeping and systematic,” one of the greatest threats to American democracy Mueller has ever seen. Trump can be prosecuted for 10 possible obstruction of justice crimes after he leaves office. Trump was not exonerated in the report. Trump was asked to answer questions by Mueller but refused. If Trump wasn’t president he would be criminally prosecuted. 30 people were charged with crimes, including 12 members of the Russian military. There were 126 contacts between Russian agents and the Trump campaign and associates. Trump had a motive for obstruction of justice — he wanted to cover up personal embarrassment, personal and financial interests, and possible criminal actions.

Bob Mueller wrote in the report, “Over the course of my career, I’ve seen a number of challenges to our democracy. The Russian government’s effort to interfere in our election is among the most serious. As I said on May 29, this deserves the attention of every American.”

Right wing media is framing Mueller’s testimony as being empty and flustered. The repugs have got him! Trump is vindicated!

The bottom line is today the Republicans serve as Trump’s defense team and the Democrats are the prosecutors. Democrats are outlining Trump’s crimes while the Republicans try and say that Trump has committed no crimes and that the investigation itself is faulty. Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz and Louie Gohmert made total fools of themselves, as expected. Bob Mueller’s eyes rolled which was not expected. Stone face Bob let his eyes roll.

Who farted?

The Democrats knew that Mueller was only going to give yes or no answers so their strategy was to read the report and have Mueller confirm that what they read as true.

Meanwhile:

The MUKGAs over the pond elected their own Trump. Boris Johnson is the new leader of the conservative party of the UK. He says Brexit will happen by October 31, “do or die.” He will close the UK off to the rest of the world just like Trump did with America. Boris Johnson has called the citizens of his country piccaninnies, women in burqas bank robbers, gay men tank-topped bumboys, and that the problem with Africa is that Britain isn’t in charge anymore. He’s Trump with a cheeky accent.

Trump is suing the House panel and New York officials to keep them from getting his tax returns. Does that mean they are no longer under audit then?

Trump told an audience of teenagers that Article 2 of the Constitution gives him unlimited power. It does not.

2 senators voted NO to extend federal assistance to the sick and dying 9/11 heroes and their families. Those 2 pricks were Rand Paul and Mike Lee.

The FBI has made 100 domestic terrorist arrests this year — nearly all of them were white supremacists, more than last year.

Tennessee restaurant owner Rick Tyler is running for Congress. His slogan? Make America White Again. He put up a billboard on the side of the highway.

Stephen Miller said, “I would be happy if not a single refugee foot ever again touched American soil.” His Jewish family fled Nazi Germany. He wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for America.

Trump wants to hold the next G7 Summit at Trump National Doral in Florida so he can brag about how rich he is and make money off of foreign governments. Doral is the golf course that recently booked a tournament with strippers so holding the G7 there sounds about right for the Trump presidency. Boris Johnson can jump out of a cake.

Trump told Richard Branson that he wanted to spend the rest of his life getting revenge.

The Mueller testimony will go on for a couple more hours. Time will tell if Americans watched or listened and will finally acknowledge the elephant in the room — the president is a criminal, the Republicans are enabling him, and the symbol of the Grand Old Party is no longer an elephant but the white supremacy sign.

When someone in the Facebook group, “FU Trump” asked, “If you’re one of the millions of Americans who REFUSE to say the words ‘President Trump’ what do you call him?” Over 700 people answered in 2 hours. Here are some of the best answers:

Elephant Fart

Orange Foolius

Gropenfuhrer and Dotard

The orange anal wart

Fat Hitler

Tweety Amin

Twitler

Something that would get me suspended from Facebook

8:00 am- Ass
9:00am- Dumbass
10:00am- Asshole
11:00am- F-ing Ass
12:00pm-F-ing Dumbass
1:00pm- F-ing Dumbass Asshole
2:00pm- F-ing Dumbass Asshole Douchebag
3:00pm-WTF?

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.