Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 26, 2020

The deadly coronavirus (COVID-19) has infected 80,238 people and killed 2,700 worldwide. There are recorded cases in the United States, including 14 passengers who were aboard the Diamond Princess cruise ship in Japan who then exposed 300 people on the flight back home plus 17 people who contracted it from China. We are not equipped to handle the pandemic because Trump has left the key role at the CDC vacant, defunded federal agencies, hired incompetent ass kissing sycophants, and lied to us about the seriousness of the health crisis.

Nancy Messonnier, Director of the Center for the National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases (NCIRD) has a warning for the public: “The data over the past week about the spread in other countries has raised our level of concern and expectation that we are going to have community spread here……. Disruption to everyday life might be severe……..It’s not so much a question of if this will happen any more, but rather more a question of exactly when this will happen and how many people in this country will have severe illness.”

Schools and businesses need to start preparing now.

Only three US states can test for the coronavirus. Trump has defunded the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to a level where it can no longer function.

Trump is bullshitting the country when he says that they have everything under control. He says it’s no big deal and if it does turn out to be a big deal it will be the Democrats’ fault.

Top White House economic adviser Larry Kudlow says the virus is very contained and that their health experts are prepared for anything. The White House says it has got its best brains working on it and there is no need to panic. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo blames China and Iran for censoring information about the outbreak. Rush Limbaugh says the coronavirus is nothing more than a common cold that is being “weaponized” to bring down Trump.

Trump’s proposed budget would cut funding for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention by 17%. He wants to cut US funding to the World Health Organization by more than half and cut Health and Human Services by 10%. The budget for his stupid wall will not be cut.

He’s going to do a press conference at the end of the day after the stock market closes and whatever he ends up saying, it will be a lie. If the stock market is down again today, he’ll claim that it’s high. The coronavirus is fake news so sneeze and cough away America! Don’t cover your mouth and whatever you do, don’t wash your hands. Kiss a stranger on the mouth and grab ’em by the pussy!

Trump tweeted this morning: Low Ratings Fake News MSDNC (Comcast) & @CNN are doing everything possible to make the Caronavirus look as bad as possible, including panicking markets, if possible. Likewise their incompetent Do Nothing Democrat comrades are all talk, no action. USA in great shape!

He mis-spelled coronavirus in his official cry baby tweet. The stupid son of a bitch is so incompetent he can’t even bother to Google coronavirus before he makes a petty, paranoid, and flat out bogus announcement about it.

San Francisco has declared a state of emergency over the coronavirus. Being an international city, they’re not messing around. They don’t need an official warning from the amateur, San Fancisco hating federal government.

Nancy Pelosi lives in San Francisco. Mama Nancy says cover your mouth when you cough and WASH YOUR HANDS!

“The coronavirus is not contained. It will not fade in the spring. Trump cut CDC by 9 percent. Trump eliminated the position at the global health security teams at NSC and DHS. They don’t know what they are doing. They are fixated on the politics and the stock market. This is not a Democratic talking point, it’s what the leading epidemiologists in the world predict.“ — Senator Brian Schatz

“Does anyone think that if there were a consequential national security/economic crisis that this Administration has the intellectual capacity and policy acumen to navigate the nation through it? The answer, frighteningly, is no. Now we have the coronavirus and they have no idea.” — former attorney general Eric Holder

Emergency! The coronavirus is headed your way and there is nothing that can be done about it because nobody is in charge, the buildings and labs are all empty, and the government is lying to you.

Too bad the virus can’t be selective and infect only MAGAs, Republicans in Congress, and Trump. They never wash their hands.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.