Essential Patriot Oil

Snake oil salesman Tucker Carlson interviewed Kyle Rittenhouse on his show. He called him a “great kid.” Everything was going to Tucker’s plan which was to promote the documentary he is doing of Kyle Rittenhouse that he made during the trial thanks to the full access and cooperation he got from the court. Kyle shot himself in the foot by saying he wasn’t a racist and that he supported Black Lives Matter on camera. There goes all of the millions that Tucker and all of the other white supremacist vigilantes were hoping to make off of their new poster boy for the cause. MAGA militias may be doomed nonessential.

Junior posted a photoshopped image of his dad presenting Kyle Rittenhouse with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, suggesting it could happen if Trump is elected again in 2024. Slap a little patriot oil on it and grease up.

The Select Committee has subpoenaed 5 people who helped plan the Stop the Steal rally. Roger Slick Stone and Alex Spill Jones are among them.

It won’t be long before Mike Pence, Mike Pompeo, Lauren Boebert, Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Andy Biggs, Mo Brooks, Mike Lindell, Tommy Tuberville, Bill Barr, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Kevin McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Paul Gosar, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Ivanka, Jared, Eric, Junior, and TRUMP are subpoenaed. Start greasing those helping hands with a little palm oil.

Trump got an honorary black belt and a participation trophy from some guy from South Korea at Mar-a-Lago. He was presented with his phony achievement so he could pose for a photo wearing a white uniform and his new belt. He can hang it on the wall with all of his other phoney photos — next to him on the fake cover of Time magazine as their Man of the Year and the photos of him sitting in the drivers seat of a semi truck parked in front of the White House, the photo of him wearing a hard hat in front of union workers, another one of him wearing a military jacket playing Army in front of members of HIS military, and the one celebrating his birthday at Hooters surrounded by well oiled boobs.

“I don’t understand why half the world treats him like a Make a Wish kid.” — Brandon Farmahini

The Republican National Committee is paying Trump’s legal fees. Pass the massage oil.

Pennsylvania Republican Sean Parnell has dropped out of the US Senate race after a judge awarded his wife sole legal custody of their 3 children. The ex-wife says he is a domestic batterer. He was endorsed by Trump. Since the GOP welcomes every kind of monster, rapist, pedophile, murderer and criminal, he must be a new category of Republican piece of shit. Now Dr. Oz says he’s interested in running. He could win because he’s on TV.

Louis Gohmert is running for Texas Attorney General. His platform will be “election integrity and anti-immigration platform.” In other words, he’s the white supremacist candidate.

President Biden is going to have the Department of Energy make 50 million barrels of oil available from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to bring gas prices down. Contrary to popular belief, the president doesn’t have anything to do with setting gas prices. Prices are tied to OPEC (Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries) whose mission is to unify the 13 member countries around common policies to maintain a regular oil supply by controlling quotas. The US is not a member and is at the mercy of what OPEC decides. To make the most amount of money as possible, OPEC serves its membership by making sure that there is a steady stream of income for the oil companies and that investors are getting a decent return on their capital. Oil companies don’t worry about people not buying their product at whatever cost. They’ll buy gas for their cars BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO. They’re making money hand over fist. The repugs are using high gas prices as a convenient wedge issue because people are pissed off at how expensive it is to fill up their tanks and they want to blame someone and since they don’t understand how gas prices work the repugs are blaming Biden. They’ll take credit for gas prices later when the prices go down.

Trump had never heard of OPEC before he fell into the presidency. It was too complex for him to understand but that didn’t stop him from taking credit for beating them. “If you look at oil prices they’ve come down very substantially over the last couple of months…..that’s because of me. Because you have a monopoly called OPEC, and I don’t like that monopoly.”

““Who controls gas prices? Oil and gas companies do. Who protects oil and gas companies? Republicans protect oil and gas companies. We need to remember that it is greedy corporations that are raising prices and are profiting off of working families” — Congresswoman Teresa Leger Fernandez

Texas sucks fun fact: 8 gas companies are raising prices in Texas to recoup the $3.4 billion they lost last winter.

Oil companies suck fun fact: ExxonMobil and Chevron doubled profits during the pandemic.

Joe Mansion sucks fun fact: Senator Joe Manchin has received more donations from the oil, gas and coal industries than any other senator.

Build Back Better fun fact: One of the many life changing, planet saving improvements that will be made once Build Back Better passes is an antidote to the US’s fossil fuel dependency. The plan will reduce greenhouse gas emissions by one gigaton by 2030. Tax credits for solar panels for people to power their homes and to be able to afford electric cars will save people a ton of money and put the planet back on a healthy track. This new energy industry will result in a whole lot of new jobs. Green energy will make us far less dependent on oil, gas, the middle east, and OPEC.

Wean ourselves from oil.

Wean the patriots from themselves.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.