Everybody Duck!
It’s duck hunting season in American politics and everybody is packing. Grab your luger, line up your ducks and boom! Blow those suckers away!
Duck and cover!
The California recall election is today. We won’t know until tonight if the Republicans will be successful with their 6th attempt in 3 years to recall a Democratic governor in a deep blue state but Trump is sure that the election has been rigged. The GOP favorite, Black Trump Larry Elder and right wing radio host with a large MAGA following and zero government experience, has already called the election for Newsom and is demanding an investigation. He’s also asking his supporters to be prepared to start shooting. Rubber duckies, assume the position. Elder’s official campaign website published Newsom’s win, 26 hours before the election was supposed to be called. He’s not going to accept the election results and is telling his supporters not to accept it either. A couple of days ago he said at a campaign event, “We have lawyers all set up, all ready to go to file lawsuits. They’re gonna cheat, we know that.”
Republicans played duck duck goose with their right wing wacko prospects and landed on Larry Elder, a Black Republican who refers to himself as the Sage of South Central on his radio show website but never ventures into South Central. He’s so not South Central, he said he would have voted against the Voting Rights Act of 1964 in a video that has recently surfaced. This guy wants to be California’s Black Swan. Before Trump came along, he was just a clay pigeon who went on Fox News.
President Biden flew to California to campaign for Gavin Newsom last night and blasted Larry Elder: “All of you know that last year I got to run against the real Donald Trump. This year, the leading Republican running for governor is the closest thing to a Trump clone that I’ve ever seen in your state.”
Speaking of whack job right wing radio hosts, another one has bit the dust and has died from covid — self-proclaimed “right wing religious fanatic” Bob Enyart of Colorado, who organized his listeners to boycott the vaccine “to further increase social tension and put pressure on the child killers.” The former director of Colorado Right to Life, he used to mock AIDS victims by name on his cable television show. Now he’s a covid victim who will be mocked for the ages.
Speaking of whack jobs from Colorado, Lauren Boebert, who dropped out of high school to “start a family” and makes all of her waitresses wear guns on their hips while serving customers in the restaurant she owns, “Shooters Grill — the safest little café in the west,” was invited to speak at a MAGA event where she got to carry a Bible like a Reality TV president and preach the word of God on a stage at a women’s Bible College for the Truth and Liberty Coalition conference, a right wing religious political organization. Like a duck takes to water, Lauren did a pole dance without a pole for those MAGA half wits. She put on quite a show in her capacity as a member of Congress, wearing a tight black dress that didn’t show her gun bulge, declaring that Christians rise up and remove ungodly leaders from power and replace them with “righteous men and women of God” who realize that the government should be taking orders from the church.
Lauren Boebert fun facts: After she was sworn in, she bragged about packing on the House floor because the government wasn’t going to tell her how she can protect her family even though her family was in Colorado. She managed to pay off nearly $20,000 in state tax liens on her restaurant the month before she was elected and then disclosed on an FEC filing a few weeks later that she reimbursed herself $21,000 for “mileage.” She gave at least one tour to constituents right before the attack on January 6 while she was still a private citizen, before the new Congress had been sworn in. Moments before the Capitol was breached she said, “Madame Speaker, I have constituents outside this building right now.” She was in on it. Afterwards, local newspapers in her state turned on her, and along with 68 state politicians demanded an investigation into her role on the attack on the Capitol. Her communications director, Ben Goldey, who used to work for Mitch McConnell, quit after 2 weeks on the job. Lucky duck.
A hospital in New York has announced that it won’t be delivering any babies for awhile because 6 out of its 18 maternity nurses quit out of protest over the vaccine mandate. 7 refused to say if they’d been vaccinated or not so expectant mothers have been told to have their babies somewhere else. If you’re an anti-vaxxer you should probably put your baby in a reed basket and send it up Shit Creek to escape the vaccine. Maybe you’ll get lucky and some rich Republican pharos’s daughter will find it and raise it to worship Republican Jesus and become president of the United States to uphold the word of Lauren Boebert.
The anti-vaxxer idiots are trying Betadine to get rid of covid now. They’ve moved from putting bleach up their butts to eating horse de-wormer to drinking douche cocktails. Betadine is an antiseptic commonly used in nasal sprays, mouth washes and feminine hygiene products.
The cops arrested a guy in a creepy vehicle that screamed ‘pull me over’ and found a multiple weapons, including a bayonet and machete, near the DNC the headquarters in Washington, DC, right next to the spot where the person who planted bombs at both the DNC and RNC headquarters was picked up on video before the attack on the Capitol. The photo is dark and grainy, and the bomber is all dressed in black, but it sure looks like a petite female with a gait and physique much like Lauren Boebert.
We were all just sitting ducks during Trump’s lame duck/dead duck session and we’re still sitting here, staring down the barrel of a luger, about to be feathered and served up at the Shooters Grill. Republicans are actively trying to take down the United States government.
If it walks like a duck and acts like a duck it might just be a Lauren Boebert.
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