Everything is Terrible

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMay 22


Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch said that the emergency measures that were taken during the COVID-19 crisis that killed more than 1 million Americans was perhaps “the greatest intrusion on civil liberties in the peacetime history of this country.”

Fulton DA Fani Willis has instructed her staff to work remotely during the month of August and she has asked judges not to schedule any trials. That’s because once she announces indictments, Trump is apt to sick his MAGA militia on Atlanta for January 6 — Part 2.

Trump is still trying to overthrow the government right now.

Someone paid a bunch of homeless people to say they were homeless vets who had been kicked out of their housing to make room for migrants. Right wing media covered the story for 5 days. Who paid the poor homeless people? Probably right wing media.

Rudy’s lawyer dumped him because he won’t listen to him and he hasn’t gotten paid. George Santos’ law firm dumped him. And one of Trump’s Mar-a-Lago lawyers, Tim Parlatore, cut Trump loose. He split after Trump admitted in the CNN town hall that he took presidential records which could get Parlatore in big trouble because the defense he was building was just the opposite. Trump contradicted everything Parlatore had told the grand jury which makes him a fact witness — PART OF THE CRIME. He’s on the record for being the custodian of records from more places than Mar-a-Lago. He signed off on other searches at other Trump clubs and Trump Tower, certifying that everything was cool. Now he’s in deep shit.

Ivanka is refusing to turn her emails over from 2016 which isn’t a problem for Republicans because she’s not Hillary.

There is a lunatic in Maryland who has been standing at a school bus stop wearing his red MAGA hat and carrying an AR-15 for weeks to protest a new gun law, scaring the crap out of elementary school aged kids, their parents, and the people who live in the neighborhood.

The NAACP has issued a travel warning in Florida for Black people — “the state has become hostile to Black Americans.”

Trump Media has filed a $3.78 billion lawsuit against the Washington Post claiming they published defamatory articles about Truth Social, Donald Trump and CEO Devin Nunes.

Trump is ranting that he is being framed. His theft of 325 classified documents could get him enough lifetime sentences to take him into the next millennia.

Republican from Florida, newbie Anna Paulina Luna (the female George Santos), filed a motion to expel Adam Schiff from the House.

Junior announced he is going on a tour of Australia in July to get a MAGA movement started there.

Republican Christian Lauren Boebert, who is a big proponent of the sanctity of marriage and family values, is about to be a 36 year old divorcee with a teenaged son who knocked up his teenaged girlfriend, just like his mom. She filed for divorce from her husband which took him by surprise. Her celebrity has gone to her head. She’s used it to gain access to another Republican Christian, million dollar, white nationalist singing preacher, Pastor Sean Feuch, the long haired guitar player. They have a lot in common — Republican Jesus, threatening to sue people, adultery, and charlatanry. Plus they each have four kids and love to shoot stuff.

Pious Christians and dutiful wives Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Kellyanne Conway are all getting divorced at the same time. But they’re not sinners. Republican Jesus forgives everything.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.