Face Off

Spike Dolomite
4 min readOct 5, 2021

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Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp went down worldwide for half a day yesterday, hours after 60 Minutes ran an interview with whistleblower, Frances Haugen, a former employee of Facebook, who admitted that Facebook designs it algorithms around hate to get the most engagement making it a threat to America. She said, “The version of Facebook that exists today is tearing our societies apart and causing ethnic violence around the world.” As an example of how Facebook plays a role in violence and crimes against humanity, she pointed to Myanmar as an example and how the military used Facebook to launch a genocide. She also talked about corporate secrecy. “Almost no one outside of Facebook knows what happens inside Facebook.” Ironically, after she said that Facebook employees were unable to get in the building with their key codes the next day while Facebook was down because the company runs its entire operation, including security, through Facebook. She testifies before the Senate today and is going to ask the government to regulate Facebook. She has also filed complaints with federal law enforcement.

Frances Haugen is facing off with Facebook, a 17 year old, $1 trillion company. It has 2.8 billion users (60% of all internet connected people on earth.) It’s too big. The founder and CEO, Mark Zuckerberg and the company lost billions as a result of the global shut down but they didn’t even feel it, they’re that rich.

The world was safe from right wing conspiracy theories, propaganda, and out right lies about covid, the vaccine, and the 2020 election for a few hours.

People freaked out and went to Twitter to find out what was going on. Here’s what Tweeters had to say:

“Hello literally everyone.” -Twitter

“Facebook and Instagram aren’t working right now. And neither is Marjorie Taylor Greene.” — Holly McCormack, Democratic candidate for Congress in Marjorie Taylor Greene’s district.

“Facebook may be down but you know who is always up to socially network with you? Our risen Lord Jesus Christ.” — Max Burns, wise guy Democratic strategist

“The world has gone crazy as Instagram, Whatsapp and Facebook have gone down. Not knowing what to do with the day, people have gone to Twitter to search, “Is Facebook down?” Naturally enough Republicans are calling it socialism. You’ll find the reasons why on Hunter Biden’s laptop. Don’t get pregnant!” — Paddy the Panda on TikTok

“Quick everyone find their MySpace password.” — Chris Hahn

“Facebook being down feels almost as good as Trump getting booted from Twitter.” — 9fm

330 billionaires and millionaires aren’t paying $6 billion in taxes a year because it’s all hidden in over seas accounts which isn’t really even all that necessary since they don’t pay taxes anyway. This is who will be paying for Biden’s infrastructure bill. They made money using up our infrastructure for free, they can pay for it now. Some of these guys are members of Congress. Multi-millionaire Ron Johnson, the senator from Wisconsin, benefitted from Trump’s gift to the rich in 2017 with his tax law, only paid $2,105 in state taxes that year, the same amount a couple who made $40,000 paid.

New news about the attack on the Capitol that will surely get bigger as the Select Committee faces off with more of the kingpins of the insurrection: Turns out the mob who broke through the windows knew exactly which windows to hit to gain quick access. The building underwent a complete upgrade from 2017 to 2019 to withstand a bomb attack. 658 windows were reinforced with bomb resistant glass. They skipped 12 windows because the risk was minimal or they couldn’t handle the additional load. Several of those windows were the entry points for the first rioters, who ran straight past the reinforced windows. There are only a couple of people who knew the layout of those reinforcements. One of them was Sargent of Arms, Paul Irving, the guy who testified before 2 Senate committees and denied that he ignored the Capitol Hill police chief’s 6 requests for backup from the National Guard.

Bennie Thompson, the chair of the Select Committee chairman, has given Steve Bannon and Mark Meadows until Thursday to comply with their subpoenas or face criminal legal action.

Face off time.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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