Farewell False Profit

Trump tweeted out a photo of himself giving a fake medal to a fake dog and then deleted it after everybody laughed at him for being a fat failing fraudulent fotoshopped festering fungus.

Trump used a dog just like he has God. Faithful friend or man eating giant? Fee Fi Fo Fum I smell the blood of Fifth Avenue scum.

The only fuhrery friend Trump has ever had is himself. He hates gods.

The House Rules Committee passed the Impeachment Resolution and the full House will vote on rules for the impeachment proceedings today. Committees will get to release unclassified transcripts of testimony to the public. Politicians can’t start any food fights for the cameras. Witnesses will be questioned by Democratic chair Adam Schiff, Republican ranking member and fucking fool Devin Nunes, or a staff attorney for 45 minutes. Everybody else will have to keep their filibustering mouths shut. Witnesses who are hiding something will get flogged and Republicans won’t be able to call flippant firebrand witnesses to distract from the process. Democrats will have more control and the public will be privy to what’s going on. Fanfuckingtastic!

Trump is getting more due process than Nixon or Clinton got but the Republicans call, “fowl!”

Today’s vote comes weeks after the Republicans made a big stink about meetings being held behind closed doors. Let every Republican be on record now for voting in favor of a flaming traitor. Let it show let it show let show.


Watch Trump tweet out “Witch hunt!” today and not even get the pun. The House if voting on freaking Halloween.

Junior went on Sean Hannity’s show and actually said, “I wish my name was Hunter Biden. I could go abroad and make millions off my father’s presidency. I’d be a really rich guy.”

Judicial nominee Lawrence Van Dyke cried when confronted with facts. The American Bar Association said he wasn’t qualified for a job with the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals. The ABA wrote a letter saying he would not treat LGBTQ litigants fairly. It said that he was “arrogant, lazy, an ideologue, and lacking in knowledge of the day-to-day practice including procedural rules. There was a theme that the nominee lacks humility, has an ‘entitlement’ temperament, does not have an open mind, and does not always have a commitment to being candid and truthful.” This guy gets a big fat f but watch the Republicans ram him through anyway. Trump nominated him because the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals has been getting in his way of making America white again.

The Ronald Reagan Library in Southern California was completely surrounded by fire yesterday and had to be evacuated. Quite the metaphor for the Republican party. There is no such thing as a Reagan Republican anymore. They have all but burned.

Jeffrey Epstein’s brother hired a famous forensic pathologist who concluded that Jeffrey Epstein was murdered. Bill Barr is fast and furiously writing the suicide note now.

Trump is trying to de-naturalize and deport longtime US citizens again and Ken Cuccinelli, acting head of USCIS, got forked over by Congress about enacting policies of cruelty against families with sick children. He was like, fuck ’em all. Go back to your country! Get the fuck out you fucking foreigners!

Tim Morrison, a senior National Security Council official, resigned last night. He will testify today. When Trump found out he freaked out, flipped out and fainted.

US deputy secretary of state and Russian Ambassador nominee John Sullivan said on live television that filthy flunky rat fink Rudy Giuliani did indeed try and take down the US ambassador to Ukraine and that a White House official passed around a dossier of fantastical bullshit to smear her.

Twitter is going to ban all political ads starting next month.

Fuck you, fascists!

Mark Zuckerberg says he doesn’t want the responsibility of Facebook blocking false political ads.


Trump doesn’t have anything on his schedule today other than watching the news and blowing up Twitter. F-bomb! F-bomb! F-bomb!

Oh for fuck’s sake. Let the founding fathers speak:

You’re fired!

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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